Label / Cat. No: HIRA HL 8536 First Released: 1972
What The Album Blurb Says…
In the grooves of the record contained within this sleeve is a wealth of talent performed by one family of four people – mother, father, daughter and son.
Don’t run away with the idea tha this highly popular family foursome became a versatile show overnight. What they are today is the product of many years experience in the world of entertainment. The mother and father, Ellen and Eddy, were both playing individually in concert parties when they met and married in their early 20’s. Ellen is an organist and vocalist and Eddy is an organist, accordionist and pianist.
The musical twosome continued for a number of years but it was a forgone conclusion tha their two children, Sharron and Adrian, would follow in their parents’ footsteps.
Sharron had just reached the age of 10 when she was considered proficient as an alto saxophonist and was introduced into her parents’ well-presented show. As years went by, she added clarinet, soprano and tenor saxophones, bass guitar, vibraphone and her contralto voice and is now a very accomplished young lady – a versatile musician with a charming personality.
Adrian was introduced into the show two years later at the age of eight and his terrific personality showed through in his ability as a percussionist and guitarist. Now he is a young man with a wealth of experience behind him and is a very polished performer.
It was at this point that “The Kaye Family” was born and Sharron and Adrian soon proved their worth by helping to obtain rave notices in “The Stage” and other newspaper media.
The family went on to appear at many top venues throughout the country in every field of the variety entertainment industry – theatres, halls, commercial studios, clubs, cabaret, restaurants and the like.
success followed success and now HIRA RECORDS place The Kaye Family before you to perform at your command in your own home. This high quality long-playing record shows clearly some of the many facets of this fascinating family.
Sit back and relax and dwell in the wonderland of sound that the Kaye Family presents to you – and you alone!
Drift along on clouds of romance, feel philosophical, hear the swirling colours of sun-drenched Spain, linger upon lonely seashores, fly amongst the stellar constellations, go for a trolley ride, swing with the up-tempo big band style beat.
yes, all this comes to you everytime you fall under the magical spell of the sound of The Kaye Family.
Happy listening!
Martin Philips
What I Say
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. Hello. Sorry for the delay…. The real world took over for a while. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
And what a way to come back, a return visit to The Kaye Family everyone’s favourite family musical combo.
After hearing the ‘Live!’ album, I just had to go back to the charity shop where I’d bought it to see if there were any others there, and Bingo!, this little beauty was in my hands in a matter of moments.
Pre-dating ‘Live!’ by a couple of couple of years, this album is so much more fulfilling. The production values here are vastly superior, and we have a clear sound rather than the somewhat muddy live recording. Having said that, I’m not sure if that’s entirely a good thing. After all, you can actually hear Sharron (note, two ‘r’s – very showbiz) and Ellen’s arch vocals, combining to provide a sound that I find slightly scary. Listen to ‘You’re Just In Love’ and tell me you haven’t been even slightly traumatised.
The album is of course worth every penny, if only for the sleeve notes. At last I get to know all their names. Ellen and Eddy – what a pairing. A partnership made in the stars, names that chime together. And let’s not forget the second generation, Adrian and Sharrrrrron, virtuoso musicians in their own right. And please note, I’ve been very realistic here, and made sure that I didn’t run away with the idea tha this highly popular family foursome became a versatile show overnight. Only a fool would do such a thing.
Musically there’s not much of a surprise – I can’t see that they took any major direction changes between this and ‘live’. I mean, I would love to have found that this was their forgotten psychedelic masterpiece, or they’d made an experimental jazz album. But this is again simply a series of standards set to a bontempi bossa nova beat.
Which takes me back to Adrian. I may have suggested in my last review that he was conceived just because Ellen and Eddy needed a drummer for the band. I take it back of course. After all, he’s not exactly prominent – throughout the whole of side one I couldn’t tell if it was Ade or the organ’s built in rhythms that were providing the percussion – some of the fancier fills during Telstar testify to a human hand. His playing is subdued, almost unnoticeable. If only Keith Moon had been more like Adrian Kaye, things would be very different today. Ah, the benefit of hindsight.
The choice of songs seems to show their club roots – a couple of ‘modern’ tracks, and plenty of old favourites for the mums and dads. Of course, with Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrron being a clarinettist, ‘Stranger on the Shore’ was a given – I suspect she’d just taken her Grade 5 exam, and that was one of the set pieces, so the family recycled it into their set, chuck in a bit of an inappropriate fancy rhythm and Bob’s your uncle. You know, Bob Kaye. Everyone knows Bob.
So, er…. yes. This was pretty much as I’d expected. I’m glad I revisited this fine family. I can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad thing that this kind of act isn’t around any more. Or maybe it is – maybe I should’ve been watching ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ to discover the 21st Century’s ‘Kaye Family’ rather than listening to 35 year old oddities. All I know is that my world is marginally richer thanks to Ellen, Eddy, Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrron and Adrian. Thanks guys, you’ve been great.
As a special treat, you too can listen to ‘The Kaye Family Album’. I’ve stuck the whole thing up HERE though you may have to endure some scantily clad girls in your area to download the file. Sorry. Just scroll down a bit, wait for the counter to hit zero (it’s only a few seconds delay), type in the code, and there you have it, The Kaye Family Album in all its glory. I’m good to you people, I really am. Oh, and you can see the full size cover by clicking on the image at the top of the entry. Really, I should stop being this good. It hurts.
Label / Cat. No: EMI DUO130 First Released: This Compilation 1981
What The Album Blurb Says…
HARRY MORTIMER’S name is synonymous with brass bands. He is the outstanding figure of the brass band world and surely its most devoted servant. Universally known as “the man of brass”.
His long career as soloist, teacher, adjudicator, administrator and conductor is one of the outstanding chapters in the story of brass band music in our time.
They start young in the brass band movement and Harry Mortimer’s career began at the tender age of eight when he learned to play the cornet in the Yorkshire town of Hebden Bridge where his father, the redoubtable Fred Mortimer, was the conductor of the local band.
He won his first medal at the age of 9 and soon became recognised as something of an infant prodigy on the cornet, collecting, so it is said, some 350 medals and cups before he reached his teens.
He was only 14 when he became the conductor of a junior band, leading them to the 3rd prize in a local contest at his first entry into the competition field.
When the family moved south to Luton, Harry found himself playing in the Luton Red Cross Band of which his father had just become conductor. As a very small boy he played with them in the national brass band championship and made up for his lack of inches by standing on a ginger beer box! Later he was to become the band’s solo cornet.
it was at Luton that the young Harry Mortimer, while still a schoolboy, had his first experience of another side of the world of music…playing in the orchestra of the local theatre.
In 1924 Harry joined the ranks of Foden’s Motor Works Band as solo cornet when his father took over the direction of that already noted band whose name he was to make world famous. He stayed with Foden’s until 1942.
The opening of “the Mortimer years” at Foden’s marked the beginning of a new era in brass band history and technique. It also marked the effective opening of Harry Mortimer’s long and distinguished career in the world of music and that of the brass band in particular. What had gone before had been but prelude to his later career and achievements.
It was then that he began to gain experience in a wider sphere of music making. For some years he led a “double life” playing in both brass bands and symphony orchestras. He was principal trumpet of the Halle and Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestras from 1930 to 1941, holding a similar position for some years with the B.B.C. Northern Orchestra, and somehow contriving to find time to fill the position of Professor of Trumpet at the Royal Manchester College of Music from 1936 to 1940.
Further opportunities presented themselves when, in 1942, he joined the B.B.C. as brass and military band supervisor, a post which he held until his retirement from the B.B.C. some twenty years later.
It was a period in which, thanks to Harry’s drive and flair, brass and military band music acquired a new significance in broadcasting programmes, coupled with a great increase in the weekly output of band broadcasts. As someone said at the time Harry Mortimer achieved more for the band movement in ten years than others had contrived throughout the history of broadcasting.
It was then that he sought to forge links between the world of brass bands and “the musical establishment”, attracting the interest of conductors like Sir Malcolm Sargent and Sir Adrian Boult and of composers like Granville Bantock and Sir Arthur Bliss. Some notable original compositions resulted.
During those years at the B.B.C. Harry Mortimer began to organise concerts by massed bands, brass orchestras in effect, which were the forerunners of his celebrated “Men O’Brass”, securing the interest and co-operation of celebrated conductors amongst them Boult, Sargent and Wood.
He also embarked upon a further and brilliantly successful phase of his career at that time as a conductor in the highly competitive sphere of brass band contests. In this he was destined to surpass even his father’s remarkable earlier achievement, securing no less than nine victories in the National Band Championship at the Royal Albert Hall and another nine victories in the famous Open British Band Championship at Belle Vue, Manchester.
Crowned with success he gave up contesting in 1956 and went off to Australia as Adjudicator of an important series of brass band contests there.
Speaking of his decision to retire from the field of brass band contests he once said “it was rather like being a jockey with five horses”. He still continued until 1970 as Musical Director of the Fairey Band which he had led to so many successes and continues his direction of the Morris Concert Band which he has now conducted since its inception more than 30 years ago.
In the post war years Harry Mortiner (sic) emerged as a national figure, rewarded with the O.B.E. for his services to music and acclaimed for his success as a conductor, in the concert hall, on records or in broadcast brass band programmes and in particular for his direction of that most successful band combination, the “Men O’Brass”.
Behind the skill and the flair which mark his performances lies the evidence of years of experience, the autumnal flowering of musicianship and of artistic experiences gleaned in during early days in the band room, on the concert platform and at the feet of some of the world’s most famous conductors.
“I shall never retire,” Harry Mortimer once said and today, as he nears his eightieth year, he is still active, conducting, recording, broadcasting; prominent in administrative problems of the brass band world fulfilling a busy round of engagements here or abroad with time in seemingly ineffectual pursuit. Long may he continue.
HARRY MORTIMER – CORNET VIRTUOSO
Harry Mortimer’s almost legendary reputation as a virtuoso performer upon the cornet rests not simply upon his surpassing technique but also upon the distinctive quality of singing tone which he commanded and the sensitivity and artistry which marked his playing. His influence was widely felt and extended into the playing of a new generation of performers.
The quality of his tone excited critical comment, sometimes from critics who made no secret of their lack of interest in the brass band and its music but were quick to recognise the unique quality of tone and expression which he brought to solos and solo passages alike.
“Harry does not play, he sings! We hear sometimes of persons making an instrument talk, that is just what Harry does”, a critic of much experience asserted.
While a respected Northern critic wrote – “Harry Mortimer playing the solo with a beauty and steadiness of tone which most singers might envy” and another performance drew the comment “then there was Mr Harry Mortimer performing incredible feats of agility in “Il Bacio”, a coloratura soprano song which no coloratura soprano sings with such smoothness, brilliance or firmness of tone and accuracy of intonation”, adding “she may give us one or even two of these qualities but not all four at once!”
Harry’s playing, captured in all its brilliance and beguiling tone quality on EMI records, is recalled for us in an historical sequence of performances of justly famous cornet solos on the two sides of the first of the two records in this album.
If there really are only six cornet solos as someone once facetiously suggested (an opinion calculated to provoke discussion in band room or bar) then the half-dozen indisputable classic solos for the cornet must surely appear amongst the near definitive performance on this record of original pieces or arrangements which every aspiring cornet soloist must command.
ALPINE ECHOES by Basil Windsor (pseudonym of Eli Smith, music teacher and a noted figure in band circles in the North) with Harry using his echo cornet adding to the effects of an incredibly taxing but colourful piece.
Thomas Lear’s brilliant SHYLOCK with its polka rhythm and Percy Code’s ZELDA together with one of the earliest of the enduring classics for the cornet in HAILSTORM by William Rimmer, one of the key figures in brass band history and friend and mentor of Harry Mortimer as he was of Harry’s father. Its effect upon an audience at the hands of an accomplished performer is easily predictable, the result certain. “What’s the encore, Charlie?”, asked a once famous player before rising to perform “Hailstorm”.
No less irresistible in its seemingly timeless appeal is Arditi’s evergreen IL BACIO in Arban’s effective arrangement. Another attractive arrangement of a familiar melody is that by Henry Gheel of RICHMOND HILL, one of the earliest recordings in this collection which has, unusually, an accompaniment by a recording studio orchestra.
Cornet duets have always featured in brass band programmes and Harry is joined by Jack Mackintosh, a noted contemporary of his early days. in MAC AND MORT which Harry composed for the duo to play, and the well loved THE SWALLOW’S SERENADE.
The second side of the record contains two further examples of Harry Mortimer’s versatility in the strains of the post horn heard in the course of a Hunting Medley played by Foden’s Band and, of more artistic significance, an impressive performance of the solo role in Haydn’s TRUMPET CONCERTO in E flat with the Philharmonia Orchestra conducted by the late George Weldon. The record also provides a fascinating reminder of the unique quality of tone, clarity of detail and the wonderful ensemble, rich in individual talent, which characterised the playing of Foden’s Band in its heyday under Fred Mortimer.
HARRY MORTIMER – CONDUCTOR
Harry Mortimer’s transition from instrumentalist to conductor was possibly less a conscious decision than a gradual and inevitable progress.
It began with those ‘prentice efforts as a teenager conducting a junior band and continued throughout the years of his brilliant career as a soloist. His services were always in demand by ambitious or struggling bands anxiously seeking specialist training or a “polish” upon their performance of a test piece for some local contest.
Further experience came in his role as Bandmaster of Foden’s, occasionally deputising for his father.
When he finally relinquished the cornet for the baton he was superbly equipped by training and experience for his new role.
His unequalled succession of contest successes with famous bands, like Black Dyke, Fairey and others, proclaimed his mastery of the medium.
To his undoubted flair as a conductor, his authority and wide musicianship which no doubt owed something to his orchestral experiences, was added that indefinable “star quality” which had always been apparent in his performances as a soloist.
His career was soon to take a new course with his promotion and direction of an expanding series of massed band concerts.
It arose from his recognition that a wider range of music and higher standards of presentation were necessary if the brass band movement was to meet the challenge presented by the great changes which had come about in public entertainment in the early post war years and in particular the growth of competition from radio and television.
His experience in the organisation and direction of performances by massed bands for broadcasting or public concerts in the later years of the war and early post war years, often featuring guest conductors of distinction, convinced him of the possibility as an entertainment medium of such a combination.
In 1952 he launched the now celebrated ALL-STAR BRASS some 50 strong with personnel specially chosen from the principal brass bands in this country. It was an immediate success. It was in a effect (sic) a “brass orchestra” of highly talented instrumentalists, intensively rehearsed by Harry Mortimer and utilising a number of specially commissioned arrangements.
It was featured in a notable series of EMI records and a taste of the superb quality of the band is provided by their performance of the suite KENILWORTH by Sir Arthur Bliss, one of the classics of brass band literature, recorded in 1960 which appears on side 2 of the second record of this album.
Practical considerations precluded an expansion of the concert activities of the ALL-STAR BRASS, and to meet the demand which had arisen from concert promoters and audiences alike Harry Mortimer established the famous MEN O’BRASS with the combined bands of Fairey, Foden’s and Morris Motors who, with occasional variations in the combination, achieved a wide popularity on the concert platform and on records in the years that followed their inaugural appearance in 1953.
A representative selection of recordings made by MEN O’BRASS and other massed band combinations directed by Harry Mortimer featured in the second record provides an impressive demonstration of the unsurpassable brilliance of the playing and the wide range of sonorities lavished upon music stirring, solemn or beguiling, from the OPENING FANFARE by George Hespe which Men O’Brass, adopted as their signature tune for recording and broadcasting, to the crescendo of excitement provided by the GALOP & FINALE from the WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE.
Amongst the wide range of music featured is arresting sound of BLAZON with Gilbert Vinter’s highly original writing for brass in this musical evocation of the sound of Biblical trumpets as prelude to his cantata for brass and voices. Wagner’s RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES acquires added power in the arrangement for brass bands, and the precision and phrasing which marks the performance of Rossini’s BARBER OF SEVILLE OVERTURE is contrasted by the refinement of tone and expression brought to MacDowell’s TO A WIDE ROSE and Grieg’s elegiac SPRING, while Bach’s JESU JOY OF MAN’S DESIRING in which the bands are joined by the organ splendidly captures the devotional atmosphere of a great Cathedral.
A taste of the quality of some of the soloists of the bands is provided by the performance by PHILIP McCANN, then with the Fairey Band of the well known solo JENNY WREN and that by GWYN DAVIES of the Morris Band of the popular “THE SHEPHERD’S SONG”.
This unique compilation of EMI recordings will provide a lasting reminder of the achievements of Harry Mortimer as the outstanding cornet and trumpet soloist of his generation and pre-eminent conductor of some of the famous bands with which he has been associated during his long and distinguished career of service to music and the brass band movement.
Jack Oliver
Harry Mortimer On Brass published by Alphabooks, Sherborne, Dorset.
What I Say
I think we need to talk about the blurb for a bit. Did you read all of it? No? I’m not surprised. Bit much really. I think it’s fair to say that the author, Jack Oliver was given a brief to fill out the inner sleeve of a gatefold album, and he has done so. However, apart from the tedious repetition of how great Harry was and how fantastic the EMI recordings of his work are, one thing becomes painfully obvious. As we go on and on, the grammar becomes more and more tortured. Allow me to give you an example from the final quarter of the blurb:-
It was featured in a notable series of EMI records and a taste of the superb quality of the band is provided by their performance of the suite KENILWORTH by Sir Arthur Bliss, one of the classics of brass band literature, recorded in 1960 which appears on side 2 of the second record of this album.
I suspect that the deadline came round a bit quick for Mr Oliver, and he found himself the night before, hunched over his typewriter, desperate to fill the blank page before him. It started well enough, but as the night wore on, and our Jack started to tire, the language got more and more tortured.
But, bless him, he managed it, and he even used the UNEXPECTED CAPITALS trick that I’m so fond of. It works particularly well when confronted with things like “ALL-STAR BRASS”, making it seem exotic, exciting and mysterious…!
But we can easily sum up this massive amount of blurb in the following way.
Harry Mortimer played the cornet. He started playing in his Dad’s band, and continued to play in his Dad’s band in an example of crass nepotism. He could hold a tune, better than most, and played in both brass bands and orchestras. He kept busy, had a job with the BBC for a while, and helped to popularise brass band music in the post war years. He organised the odd extravaganza like “MEN O’BRASS” where his maxim was clearly more is more, and he chucked together all the bands he worked with so that there was a big crowd of blokes playing brass instruments instead of a small crowd. Here are some recordings. They were made by EMI. Enjoy. Oh, and he also did a bit of conducting on the side.
See. That wasn’t too hard was it. But no, instead we had to have Jack Bloody Oliver going on and on about ‘Harry Mortimer’ always bloody ‘Harry Mortimer’, never just Harry, or Mr Mortimer, or even Hazza. No. I shan’t let it get to me. But really…
So, where was I? Oh yes, Brass Band music. It seems, as it goes, Harry Mortimer was a bit of a fan, and that’s fair enough. But I’m not. I’m afraid I was put off by my next door neighbour, James Hearn. When we were children, he would practise his bloody trumpet every Saturday morning, without fail, starting at 9 o’clock and going on for a couple of hours. Yes, exactly. Prime Tiswas time, ruined by a trumpet. To be fair, it wasn’t his fault, and he was very good at it (or at least, he became very good at it, though not as good as Hazza, of course…), but that put me off brass as a whole.
Therefore, I’m not really in a very good position to tell you whether this is a good brass album or not. It certainly seems very… professional. There’s lots of brass, a few tunes we know, and plenty we don’t. So I’m going to have to take the middle ground here and just say it’s OK.
And what have we learnt?
Well….. firstly, that Brass Bands all appear to have double entendre names like ‘Black Dyke’ and ‘Fairey’.
Secondly, there is (or at least was) a whole thriving brass band community, one that probably was damaged irrevocably by the closure of the mines in the 80s. Which reminds me – if anyone out there hasn’t seen Brassed Off, they probably should.
Thirdly, there was a composer called ‘Granville Bantock’. I wish I’d called my child Granville Bantock. I promise that if I ever get a dog, that’s what I shall call it. And he was a fine looking fellow too. Proper beard – the works…
Fourthly, you can go a long way if your Dad’s leader of the band.
And finally, Harry Mortimer, the ‘Man Of Brass’ himself does indeed look like a cleaned up version of Father Jack Hackett
Oh, and of course, I couldn’t leave an entry on Brass Bands without this now, could I….?
Tracks
Side 1
1. Overture: ZAMPA
2. MAC AND MORT
3. RICHMOND HILL
4. Polka Brillante: SHYLOCK
5. ALPINE ECHOES
6. IL BACIO
7. CHAMPION MEDLEY MARCH No. 3
Side 2
1. TRUMPET CONCERTO IN E FLAT
2. ZELDA
3. HAILSTORM
4. THE SWALLOWS SERENADE
5. A HUNTING MEDLEY
Side 3
1. OPENING FANFARE
2. THE THREE TRUMPETERS
3. Suite: KENILWORTH
4. JENNY WREN
5. THE SHEPHERD’S SONG
6. THE LOST CHORD
7. RADETSKY MARCH
Label / Cat. No: Hirra HLS 207831 First Released: 1974
What The Album Blurb Says…
The Kaye Family must surely rank as unique among musical entertainers. Mother, Father, Daughter and Son, whilst each projecting strong individual qualities in their respective talents, merge into a blendship of melodic unity, which is smoothly maintained throughout a warm and appealing performance.
Audience attention is commanded by supreme musicianship, smack on timing that would do justice to a space shot and a superb arranging ability. Deeply insighted into people’s requirement in entertainment, they have the happy gift of presenting the very best material covering a spectrum from light to popular music.
This intimate family unit, small as it is, nevertheless produces the big sound.
The skilful change of immaculate gowns, by the ladies who supply the vocals, compliments their splendid harmony.
There is nothing magical in their success, just hard unrelenting work, dedication to their art and that impelling desire in all true professionals to bring and give only of the best to the people.
Ringing the curtain down on The Kaye Family is a difficult task, the clamour is always for more.
Call your own family together, set the turntable to 33 1/3 r.p.m. and be assured that you too will spin this disc many times.
DICK DOYLE
Gwaun-Cae-Gurwen
South Wales
What I Say
Can I get this out of the way first. Musical family groups are creepy. From the Von Trapp singers to The Jackson Five, there is something just so…. wrong about large members of the same family performing together. I think the optimum level is two brothers – just look at Oasis, Spacehog or The Black Crowes. Two brothers bring the necessary friction, the dynamic which pushes both to outperform and out achieve the other.
But just look at the Kaye Family. You know behind the bearded face at the keyboard lies a tartar. A man who has marshalled his wife and children into his dreams of stardom. “Sharon darling, we need another baby. We don’t have a drummer. Brace yourself…”.
And this is the result…. I’m saying nothing.
To be fair, the family are all talented musicians (in their own way), but how many teenagers would a) voluntarily practice their musical instruments, b) want to spend large amounts of their free time rehearsing with their parents, and c) appearing in public, not only with your parents, but wearing the same clothes as them. I can only imagine the number would be very small, which means that either the Kaye Family are one in a milllion, or Old Man Kaye beats his children in time to the ‘Rumba’ setting on his organ.
Of course he doesn’t. I think legally I need to make it clear that I do not believe that Mr Kaye in any way mistreats his family. Though of course, he does mistreat the audience with his organ led arrangements. The Rumba is his favourite setting (NOT for beating his family, NOT for beating his family – I can’t stress that enough), as everything has that very 1970s latin arrangement to try and make them sound exotic and mysterious. I’m not sure how exotic and mysterious the Canton Liberal Club, Cardiff on a June night in 1974 really was, but I’m sure the Kaye Family helped the atmosphere along enormously.
These are clearly a band who’ve done the club circuit. They belt out the numbers double fast, not giving the audience the chance to catch their breath, throw missiles or shout insults. Just listen to the introduction and see how long it takes them to launch into the fastest version of ‘Cabaret’ that you will ever, ever hear. And ‘Aquarius’ gets the same treatment. Be still my racing heart, it’s all that I can do to keep my breath.
I’ve often found that if you listen carefully to a lot of these old albums I find, you can often find one of the musicians, there in the background, just itching to be allowed a chance to break free and really show what he can do. You don’t have to look too hard on this album to find that member of the group. The son (let’s call him Jim. I have no idea what his name is, but Jim seems as good as any) clearly toes the party line on the drums. His father’s arrangements are strictly adhered to. But there seems to be a pay off. Maybe Jim’s got something on his old man… some indiscretion maybe, or knowledge of a dark family secret. But clearly there is a deal been struck here. Jim plays his old man’s parts to the letter, but he’s allowed to let rip at the end of the songs. And by Jove does this boy let rip! Think Animal from The Muppets on steroids. Jim is up for some serious thrashing of those skins. So the gentle folk rhythms of ‘Where Have All The Flowers Gone’ end with Jim rockin’ the house. And good on him I say.
Dad demands his moment in the spotlight, and gets a solo spot with his ‘Short Selection of Famous Overtures’, which I will just say is possibly the most tedious thing I have ever had to listen to. Although Jim livens it up a bit at the end in his own inimitable style. And then Jim gets to lead on ‘Midnight In Moscow’, and things start to go crazy. Seven Russian Themed songs in a medley with drums as lead instrument all the way. Magic in a tin it is, magic in a tin.
Ultimately, I can’t blame them for the way they look, because it was 1974 so this was what was expected (even the silver capes, I suspect). I can’t blame them for providing populist entertainment because they’re doing the club circuit, and that’s what’s needed. I can’t even blame them for being slightly creepy because they’re a family, and unlike a lot of families, at least they’re spending a lot of time together and doing something creative.
What I can blame them for is getting Dick Doyle to write their album blurb, and for using a word as obscene as ‘blendship’. Eurghhh. What were they thinking?
Oh, and it turns out his name’s not Jim. It’s Adrian. I should have guessed. He looks like an Adrian.
Tracks
Side 1
Cabaret
Put On A Happy Face
Something’s Going To Happen Tonight
Love Me With All Your Heart
Quando Quando
Never Ending Song Of Love
Everybody Loves A Lover
High On A Hill Where Have All The Flowers Gone?
Too Young
Side 2
Granada
White Rose Of Athens
A Short Selection Of Famous Overtures Aquarius Midnight In Moscow
Volga Boat Song
Gopak
Black Eyes
From Russia With Love
Kalinka
Final score:
6.5 out of 10 but only because I’m strangely drawn to their bass playing daughter…
Label / Cat. No: Columbia PCC-80105 First Released: 1985
What The Album Blurb Says…
None. Boo! But, but…. when reading through the lyric sheet, I came across this gem…
“Are we alone? Erich Von Daniken asked us to believe the temples and pyramids are proof that earth was visited in its embryonic stage by an ancient intelligence.
In writing the lyrics for the interconnecting songs on ‘Alien Shores’, I was inspired by the thoughts of unexplained mysteries of our past, which may never be answered. But Hungry Eyes will perpetually seek the truth.
What I Say
This album has purged me of my guilt. You see, in 1993 I bought a pair of slacks from a gentlemen’s outfitters in Albert Road, Morecambe. I believe the colour was described as ’stone’, and I wore those stone slacks. Often.
With hindsight, I had tortured myself in the knowledge that they were the worst pair of trousers I had ever bought, and probably the worst pair of trousers in the world ever. Yes, they reall were that bad. But then, oh happy day, I slipped the inner sleeve out of this album, and what did I find? This…
Those really are the worst slacks ever to have been created. And not just one pair of bad slacks, but FOUR! That’s a 100% hit rate for the Platinum Blondes. Combined with those four nasty white jackets, we have the perfect snapshot of 1985. I believe this photo should be kept in an archive somewhere as an important historical document. And of course to serve as a warning to future generations.
And try as I might, I can’t not speak about the hair. Back-combed, sprayed, bleached, coiffed, and… wonder of wonders, the bloke on the right has one of the best expressions of the mullet that I have ever seen. This is a man at the top of his hair game, and yet he looks the most uncomfortable of the four. Somehow his face just wasn’t made for those times. Oh….. and is there a hint of black eye-liner there…. Marvellous.
As far as I can tell, with no research whatsoever, Canada has produced only 3 notable musical talents that have become known outside their country. And considering that two of those are Bryan Adams and Celine Dion, you’d think they’d learn to keep their music to themselves. (For information, the third is Barenaked Ladies, for whom I maintain a soft spot). But in the mid-eighties, it seems that Canada was at the forefront of pop music. Platinum Blonde have got everything needed to be a pop sensation in 1985. They’ve got the clothes and the hair, they have the ability to pose and to brood under their floppy fringes. They even have perfectly competent 80s style pop songs, so why oh why weren’t they massive.
Well, they were. Really. This album went quintuple platinum in Canada. For a brief, glorious moment, Platinum Blonde were major stars on the Canadian scene. Which illustrates again how subjective I am in choosing these albums. I would consider this record to be obscure and unknown, but that’s just in my experience. Given a different time and place, this was monstrously successful. Only goes to show how much I have to learn….
But the other reason I believe they weren’t more successful outside of Canada lies in a description given to the band of ‘The Canadian Duran Duran’. On reading this I’d assumed that it was because of the look, and maybe the style, but no. Most of the songs on this album could easily have been written by the Durannies. The blokes voice (I really can’t be bothered now to go and check his name. Oh, that’s a bit rude isn’t it. Hold on…. It’s Mark Holmes) even sounds like Simon Le Bon. And there’s the rub. Did the world really need two Duran Durans? I think not. So outside of Canda (where I assume their homegrown status helped enormously), they were pretty much redundant.
It seems that they keep plodding on, and there are interesting photos showing the band playing on a small stage outside the Hard Rock Cafe in Ottawa to about 12 people and a dog in 1999. And not a mullet in sight.
Oh, and I forgot Alanis Morissette, though I think that probably only adds to my argument.
Label / Cat. No: Columbia – STWO 2 First Released: 1968
What The Album Blurb Says…
THE BREAKTHROUGH TO THE EXCITING WORLD OF STEREO SOUND.
A further selection of tracks from the spectacular and exciting Studio Two catalogue…. each one chosen to highlight the variety of repertoire and stereo sound quality; together forming a highly entertaining album that will be appreciated by all listeners….
What I Say
I’m big enough to admit when I’m wrong. And I’m wrong. You see, I had always assumed that these albums that were released to demonstrate the exciting new world of Stereo Sound would use the new technology in a clumsy and naive way. I had got it into my head that we would be working with extremes of stereo, like ‘Now I’m Here’ by Queen, the sound engineer throwing the balance left then right then back again, so it felt to the listener like he was being assaulted on all sides.
And I was wrong. ‘Impact’, or IMPACT to give it its correct title (you should’ve learned by now, I’m a sucker for capitalised words), is a far more subtle and entertaining beast. The stereo mix is in no way extreme and is in fact rather delicate.
I love the impression you get that every artiste had their own Orchestra, or at the least, a group of musicians to do their bidding. There’s a big difference between Cliff Richard and The Shadows, and Ron Goodwin and His Orchestra. Every man (for they are indeed men) on this album has his own back up set of musicians, except for poor Jack Emblow, who, tagged on at the end even has to have his instrument noted by his name. Is he such a poor accordion player that we need to be told which instrument it is that he’s mangling? How much further would Jack Emblow’s career gone if he’d had an Orchestra of his own? We shall never know now.
And what names to conjour with. Why wasn’t I named ‘Norrie Paramor’, ‘Pepe Jaramillo’ or even ‘Basil Henriques’? You just don’t get names like that any more. Or if you do, they don’t seem to be showing up on my radar…. which is hardly surprising seeing as I’m based in a small market town near the border with Wales…. but I digress. These are SERIOUS names. Names to reckon with. And, as if Acker Bilk wasn’t in itself a name to rise above the average, he then insists on being addressed as Mr. Acker Bilk. How cool is that? Sir, I salute you.
The music on the album is also top notch – mind you, with that many orchestras in attendance, you’d bloody hope so. But when an album starts with the slide trombone of ‘The Stripper’, you’re in for a real treat. There are no duds here, though I’m not entirely sold on the cover of ‘The Fool On The Hill’. Too soon I think, chaps. Furthermore, when you listen to ‘Legend of the Glass Mountain’, you just know it’s a film soundtrack in the good old tradition. There was no need to add “(Theme from film)” after the title. It screams movie at you from each and every honey-draped string.
But the very greatest treat on this record is the tune ‘Wheels’, performed here by Joe Loss And His Orchestra. I will wager that most of you will look at that and think ‘Wheels? I don’t know that one’. Listen to it. You know it, oh yes, you know it well.
Label / Cat. No: CBS / MONO BPG 62822 First Released: 1966
What The Album Blurb Says…
“There is a New Sound in town and it is provided by LOS VEGAS, a gifted quintet of Mexican troubadors.” – Nick LaPole, New York Journal American
“The Los Vegas Quintet, on the Ed Sullivan Show are nothing less than sensational.” – Ben Gross, New York Daily News.
Here are Los Vegas, five tremendously talented young Mexicanos with a tasteful, exciting and swinging new sound. A gratifying blend of jazz-rock-pop-Latin, this electrifying group is “turning on” audiences from New York to San Juan. The combo included a pianist, two guitarists, a timbales-bongo player and a drummer.
Los Vegas sing with finesse; their smooth harmonies are reminiscent of North American groups like the Pied Pipers and the Four Freshmen. Their instrumental beat is groovy – the lads really swing. And wait until you hear the virtuoso sounds they get from guitars, timbales, bongo, bass and flute.
Also, the Los Vegas repertoire is well rounded. It has quality, pace and variety. The selections in this album are nicely balanced between Spanish and Yankee tunes. From People to La Cucaracha, the combo projects each and every number with polished pipes, faultless musicianship and unbridled enthusiasm.
Barry Authors of Bel-Aire Artists Corp., Ltd. brought Los Vegas to album producer Teo Macero’s attention, and your excitement is bound to match his from the moment you first hear them too. Olé!… you’re off and swinging with Los Vegas, The Newest Sound in Sounds!
What I Say
You know, they’re really setting themselves up for a fall when they call their album ‘The Newest Sound in Sounds’. For a start, what the hell does that actually mean? After all, I’ve heard pretty much all the sounds present on this album before, and a lot of them in the same mix and blend as they are presented here. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that there isn’t a single new or surprising sound to be found whatsoever on this album.
Which is a shame. I really did want to enjoy this album though I think that’s because of the claim that their instrumental beat is groovy – the lads really swing. I’m not sure that I’d call this album ‘groovy’ or ’swinging’. The word I think I’d use is ‘dull’. And ‘cliched’. I know people don’t always want to push barriers, and if you want a nice, gentle, unthreatening album of mid 60s latin tinged easy listening, then I’m sure that this would represent a good investment.
The problem for me though is that this promised so much. I mean, come on, there’s a Timbales-Bongo player. That surely means that things are going to ROCK. We’ve been promised a heady blend of “jazz-rock-pop-Latin”. Throw in prog and country and you’ve got the whole bally set. This should be music that tears down those staid barriers, sticks two fingers up to ‘the man’, and presages punk by a decade. But it isn’t.
If you recall, there’s a scene in the ‘Blues Brothers’ where Jake & Elwood go to find Donald ‘Duck’Dunn, and he’s playing bass in a jazz lounge band. The Brothers are appalled that such an incredible musician should be playing such wallpaper fripperies. This is what this album reminds me of – cocktail lounge jazz at its blandest. Just listen to ‘I Wish You Love’ to see exactly what I mean.
Where there are songs that I should recognise, they are so draped in Mexicana that it’s impossible to dig out the original tune. Even ‘La Cucaracha’, which is a Latin song is so Mexicaned-up (is that a word?) that it’s in danger of collapsing in on itself under the weight of bongos.
I think that Barry Authors of the wonderfully corporate sounding Bel-Aire Artists Corp., Ltd. thought that because the five members of The Fantastic Los Vegas had matching Tuxes, bow-ties and cheesy grins, that they would be a saleable commodity.
I’d like to think that we’re all a bit older and wiser now. But I doubt it. Westlife anyone?
Tracks
Side 1
1. Sunshine
2. People (From “Funny Girl”)
3. La Cucaracha
4. A Poor Millionaire
5. A Taste Of Honey
6. The Sinner
Side 2
1. The Shadow Of Your Smile
2. Hidden Place
3. Cuando Calienta El Sol (Love Me With All Your Heart)
4. I Wish You Love
5. What You Will Do
Final score:
1 out of 10 for describing these gentlemen well on their way to middle age as ‘lads’.
Label / Cat. No: Chevron Records CHVL 177 First Released: 1979
What The Album Blurb Says…
To reach the coveted number one spot in the British charts is not only an achievement all ‘home-grown’ artists long for, it is a pinnacle which any band or solo artist in the world today would love to reach. Featured on this album are musical tributes to the people who have achieved that rare distinction this year. Our own versions of these hits are performed by a select group of session musicians and singers handpicked from the cream of the studio world.
1979 has seen a real potpourri of musical styles gain commercial success and so it follows that this year’s number ones are, in their own way, all quite unique. From the synthesized sounds of “Are Friends Electric” to the brilliant harmonies of “Tragedy”. From the futuristic lyrics of “Video Killed The Radio Star” to the foreboding lines of “I Don’t Like Mondays”, all twelve songs comprise an entertaining look back on the past year’s music. Enjoy it!
What I Say
Oh, at last! I’ve hit paydirt. This album is a reminder of why I got into this field of work in the first place. Yes, yes, I know it’s not work, and I’ve not been here long, but all the same…. Where do I start? There is so much that is gloriously wrong about this album I’m spoiled for choice.
Chaps of a certain age in Great Britain will certainly remember the ‘Top of The Pops’ albums of the 70s. Semi annual compilations of all the current hits performed by wannabes and session musicians struggling (though failing) to sound like the original artists. A cheap and cheerful precursor to the ‘Now’ series of albums which killed off the cover-compilation market in one fell swoop. After all, who’d want to have soundalikes when you can get an album stuffed with the original artist recordings?
My knowledge of music law is slim, but as I understand it, record companies own the recordings they release, but not the songs. To licence the recordings for a compilation album would be prohibitively expensive. But get a few hungry musicians into some dead studio time, churn out piss-poor versions of current hits, and you’ve got a licence to print money.
So, back to those ‘Top Of The Pops’ albums (which I’m sure I’m obliged to point out had nothing to do with the TV programme of the same name….) On every cover was a picture of a spectacularly zeitgeisty model wearing something light and flimsy (and preferably off the shoulder), and looking slightly surprised, like you’d just caught her having an inappropriate thought. Pretty much the same kind of thing you used to see on peanut packet display cards. Probably still do, if you buy peanuts, which I can’t say I do all that often. Not that that’s relevant now.
I accept fully that these albums had a fantastic reason for their production. Pop consumers don’t necessarily want to buy all the albums, or even singles, that these cover jobbies have on them, so to have them all in one place is cheap and convenient. Also, it also meant you never had to think about what to get your Dad for Christmas. This year’s ‘Top Of The Pops’ album? That’ll do nicely.
But the ‘Top of the Pops’ albums were at least a brand, and were pretty mainstream. You’d always find them well marketed at Woolworths at the very least. But this item we have before us today? Chevron Records? Top Hits of the Year? I never realised that there was a cheaper and nastier alternative to the cheap and nasty alternative provided by TOTP.
Let’s start with the cover, shall we? I suppose we can forgive that fact that this is the late 70s, and this brand of cheerful sexism was still de rigeur. I’m a little concerned by the all in one vest / leotard, 100% man made materials, chemical yellow number the dear lady is wearing, and I suppose the flower in her hair is more a gypsy / spanish allusion than a throwback to the summer of love. However, I can’t help but wonder what people like Ian Dury, Sting or Bob Geldof would think to having an album of their material graced by such gloriously tacky cover art. I may be being presumptuous here, but I’m not sure it’s really their bag…..
The idea that the fine people at Chevron Records try to present this as a “tribute” to those outstanding individuals doesn’t quite ring true. Not unless their definition of “tribute” is “to cynically make money on the back of the songwriting of other people far more talented than we are” which, to be fair to them is possible. But as they commanded me in the sleeve notes to “Enjoy it”, then I feel beholden to do so.
Actually, it’s not that hard to enjoy. The pleasure may not be, as our friends at Chevron records expected, derived from pure enjoyment at the high quality of these recordings. Instead, all entertainment as far as I can tell comes from seeing how hard these poor people are trying to faithfully replicate the original recordings. Sadly, I can report that in every instance, they fail to cut the mustard, and the results are often hilarious. I can clearly picture some ‘Filthy Ralph’ style producer in his smoke filled studio saying ‘ah, fuck it, that sounds close enough. Right, who’s going to be Gary Numan?’ Oh, and if you don’t recognise the ‘Filthy Ralph’ reference, you haven’t watched enough ‘Filthy, Rich & Catflap’ and you should rectify that immediately.
Part of the problem, I admit, is that most of these songs have gone on to be remembered as classics. Fair enough, who remembers Lena Martell except my Mum? But we all know what ‘Heart of Glass’ should sound like. And it’s not like this. Sting’s vocal ticks are so familiar that without them ‘Message In A Bottle’ sounds just weird. And who in their right mind would even attempt to sound like Ian Dury or Bob Geldof? It can only end up as a dreadful parody at best.
I mean, the guy who does Ian Dury sounds like he’s from a public school, and is doing his best to sound like a geezer, but just comes across like his hernia needs attention. An effeminate Gary Numan? And don’t even ask about their “Trevor Horn”. Instead of using the vocoder (?) at the beginning of ‘Video Killed The Radio Star’, they just get him to sing in a squeaky, semi-strangulated voice.
Having done a little checking, there were five other Number Ones in 1979 which, for reasons best known to themselves, failed to make the grade for this album. Two were by artists already featured (Sunday Girl – Blondie and Cars – Gary Numan), but I do feel cheated knowing that we could have had versions of YMCA, Another Brick In The Wall, and worst of all, Dr Hook’s “When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman”. I’m sure you feel cheated too.
Label / Cat. No: Embassy WLP 6030 First Released: 1961
What The Album Blurb Says…
Anchors aweigh! Splice the mainbrace! For the Riverboat Banjo Band is about to be launched – and you’ll really go overboard about the tunes they’ve decided to play.
Yes, as nautical a crew of strumming chaps have never made such a happy-go-lucky voyage. Welcome aboard. First-class accommodation only, and a guaranteed smooth passage for all.
The Riverboat Banjo Band really make you feel you’re having a carefree, away-from-it-all time. Why not sit comfortably amidships and relax?
Boats and banjos have a long association now. You can look first at the old Mississippi paddle boats that went out from New Orleans. Southern belles were serenaded against a background sound of churning paddle wheels by the banjo which raised its sometimes plaintive, always pleasing, melody above the noise.
Then came the time when the banjo was a more exclusive instrument. At least, there were just two in a boat. A girl reclining on the cushions of a drifting punt, a man strumming his banjo between spells of poling.
Today, we get the best of both worlds.
There are some tunes that seem to have been written for the banjo; they have that something extra at the nimble hands of the banjo-player. That’s certainly how it sounds here. A dozen of the banjoest tunes you could ever imagine, played at a fair turn of knots by a blue riband crew of banjoists.
Listen to them and you can well understand why the banjo is enjoying such a return to popularity. It is happy music, all-pals-together music that could change a hornpipe into a twinkletoe quickstep, that could even make the Ancient Mariner forget his years.
All we ask as you play it, don’t have your friends all dancing to starboard as the Riverboat Banjo Band sets sail. Your turntable could well turn turtle. So, indeed, could your dancers.
Which would be a pity, because before the riverboat drops anchor, there is a cargo of happy memories to be shared, and a tidal wave of warm, flowing melodies to enjoy.
Take a trip with the Riverboat Banjo Band and you’ll be wanting the same, sparkling voyage again and again.
What I Say
OK, let’s get this out of the way. Any album that features the sleeve notes “a girl reclining on the cushions of a drifting punt, a man strumming his banjo between spells of poling…” is going to get my vote every time. Such an evocative picture, and so unintentionally funny when viewed in a somewhat less innocent era.
But I should start with the sleevenotes rather than the sleeve or the music, because they are so wonderful. Obviously, the junior writer who was given this commission picked up on the supposed nautical theme and really ran with it. After all, they start “Anchors aweigh! Splice the mainbrace!” Now I’m no nautical cove, and even I know that a paddlesteamer or riverboat is propelled by a steam driven waterwheel, and not by sails, therefore making a mainbrace redundant. I’m sure I’ll be corrected now by somebody far more educated in these ways than I am, but I still stand by my argument that whoever wrote these notes was stretching an already tenuous link.
Again, I’ll concede that banjos and riverboats might go together in popular culture, but banjos and punts? I return to our gentleman strumming and poling (and all in front of a young lady too – shocking). I’ve been punting, I know how difficult it can be, and I can tell you from personal experience, if I’d had to pick up a banjo and give it a quick strum between strokes, I would have become pretty disillusioned with the whole affair very quickly.
Our valiant writer does his (or indeed her) best to try and make the banjo sound interesting and desirable, but gives themselves away by saying that the banjo is enjoying “such a return to popularity” Clearly at this stage it had been properly unpopular for, oooh, about 80 years I’d suggest. And with good reason too. After all, the banjo is not the most serious instrument in the pantheon of music makers. It’s the hyperactive young cousin of the guitar, useful for novelty songs, but little else.
This is abundantly clear on this album. When they stick to stomping banjo tunes, you can almost forgive these men for learning to play in the first place. OK, so it’s not to my taste, but I can see how you’d be caught up with the foot tapping revelry that they suggest.
Sadly though, by the time we get to Moonlight Bay, the second song, they’ve overstretched themselves. Two cardinal sins have been committed – firstly, the song is slow and tries to convey emotion other than light hearted wackiness. Secondly, the banjo takes over a vocal melody, which it clearly wasn’t designed to do. It sounds like an octogenarian Italian crooner. Or at least what I assume an octogenarian Italian crooner would sound like.
But with the next two songs we hit the motherlode. The banjos find themselves with their natural bedfellows: The trombone and the muted trumpet. The three pariahs of the orchestra sitting at the back of the class, causing mischief. They rattle along at a fair old pace, and after racking my brain as to what they reminded me of, I realised that either of them could be used by the Two Ronnies as the accompaniment to their musical number at the end of the show. Yes, they’re so good, they could have been written by Ronnie Hazlehurst himself.
Yes Sir, That’s My Baby is an odd one. It has vocals. Yes, I know. Vocals. On a banjo album. How dare they? Close harmony male and female combo vocals at that. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was The Brian Rogers Connection from 3-2-1 (or almost any ITV light entertainment programme from the late 70s). Sorry if you’d only just managed to wipe the horror that was ‘The Brian Rogers Connection’ from your mind.
The last couple of tracks on side one are more middle of the road banjo type ramblings. There’s only so much I can about banjos, considering I know so little about them. In ‘You Are My Sunshine’ the banjo and muted trumpet take turns to replace the lead vocal line. As you know, I believe that the banjo substituting vocals is an abhorrent mockery of nature, whereas the trumpet sounds great. To have the two together makes for a real sweet and sour experience. And then Side one ends, as it opened, with an absolute benchmark of the style. Top that, Radiohead.
The big let down of this album is that after the stunning highs and soaring lows of Side A, the B side is just…. competent. It’s more of the same really, shuffles and stomps, redeemed only by the fact that someone, somewhere decided to rhyme ‘paddling’ with ‘Madelaine’ to come up with ‘Paddlin’ Madelin’ Home’. This would have been a stroke of genius if it had been a vocal track, but as it’s just a bunch of banjos playing, you might as well have called it “Oof, my Piles are playing up something rotten.” So really, they’re letting the side down (pun fully intended. Sorry”
Tracks
Side 1
Row, Row, Row
Moonlight Bay On The Mississippi
I’m Sitting On Top Of The World
Yes Sir, That’s My Baby
How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down On The Farm You Are My Sunshine
Side 2
If You Knew Suzie
For Me And My Gal
He’d Have To Get Under
Don’t Fence Me In Beer Barrel Polka
Somebody Stole My Gal
Paddlin’ Madelin’ Home
Final Score
7.75 out of 10
(It would have got 6 out of 10 just for the phrase “A dozen of the banjoest tunes….”)
to see exactly what I mean.
