Label / Cat. No: PYE – NSPL41005
First Released: 1971

What The Album Blurb Says…

Every now and again in show-business an exciting piece of talent comes to the surface – it happened with Tom Jones and Barbra Streisand, but it doesn’t happen often.

Stars are not made by managers or impresarios, they are made by the public – sure, managers or agents recognise a star quality and then groom it, but most stars are there because of that contact with an audience, because they are selling the goods the public wants and because that public wants them as people.

I first saw Rostal and Schaefer perform to a live audience in Johannesburg; they were closing the first half of a bill I was appearing on. From my dressing-room I heard shouts from the auditorium of ‘encore!’ and ‘more!’ – it sounded sweeter than the music they had been playing. On this night I witnessed not one but two stars being born and to watch them blossom over the past twelve months has pleased me more than I can say.

No wonder they have been booked for television shows, concerts, and asked to record sounds like you have here on their first major disc.

Although in their early twenties, they have somehow packed twenty-odd years between them in practising at the keyboard – no wonder the powers that be decided to include them in the 1970 Royal Variety Show, some entertainers work a life time for this honour – they achieved it in twelve short months.

Fly away Peter, fly away Paul and keep delighting us with your magic. It is a privilege to have this record, almost a first edition, I shall treasure it.

Most sincerely, Max Bygraves.

What I Say

I bet that Paul Schaefer rues the day he met Peter Rostal. Fine, they share interests, they work together well, and conveniently enough, they both play the piano. But in the wake of ‘Peter, Paul and Mary’, Paul was only ever going to get second billing. ‘Paul, Peter & Pianos’ just sounds wrong, even though it’s in lovely alphabetical order. I bet Paul is still kicking himself that he didn’t change his name to something with three syllables – Francisco, maybe. Anything to make him stand out head and shoulders above Peter.

Yet it wasn’t to be. I notice that in later years they became known as ‘Rostal and Schaefer’ which is infinitely more exotic than ‘Peter & Paul’, but it means that Peter still gets top billing. The swine.

Max Bygraves seems to be pretty taken with these two young men. And who wouldn’t be? Look at the pair of them with their sensible haircuts and dinner jackets. Fashionable pink shirts, and bow-ties that you just know, you just know are made of velvet. The wry smile on Paul’s face, the confident ‘trust me’ grin on Peter’s. yes, these are clearly the kind of young men that you could take home to mother. And even when they’re not in their concert finest, they clearly know how to dress to impress.

Why, just look at them in their casual fineries. Cravats, Crew-necks and Crimplene trousers. What more could a girl ask for!

But I’m being unfair. Those were wonderful clothes in 1971 and I’m judging them harshly purely because fashions have changed. This is supposed to be all about the music. Ah! The music. I have a small confession to make – I recorded this album to review ages ago – months and months, and had the file kicking around. On listening to it this week, I loved the frantic, furious opening number – only to hear my past self go back and switch the album from 45 back to 33 1/3. It didn’t seem quite so lively after that. Bum. But still and excellent opener showing these two lively guys at their best. It has a bit of an Eastern European feel, Balkan possibly…. though of course, I could be talking out of the back of my head.

The rest of side one is an odd mix. Popular standards, arranged to show off the pianists virtuosity make this album the audio equivalent of a doily – all frills and fluff, but with little obvious purpose. I mean, you could put a cake on it I suppose, but what’s the point of that? And it would leave crumbs in the grooves.

Anyway…. I digress. Despite the knockabout between the two pianists, there’s no killer punch. The version of ‘Tonight’ from ‘West Side Story’ is actually an arrangement of the quintet (For once I know what I’m talking about – I was two (count ‘em, two) of the Jets in an amateur production in 1989, so I’m completely qualified and everything….) is artfully done, but has none of the aggression that the song should have.

Maybe that’s the point though – Paul and Peter (as I shall refer to them in an effort to restore the balance) aren’t in show-business to break new territory, or to threaten the Status Quo. Though that’s a fight I’d pay to see – Rostal & Schaefer vs Rossi & Parfitt. Hmmm… I feel a celebrity tag boxing blog coming on… where was I? Oh yes, they don’t offer anything new, but why should they. Like Max says, they give the public what they want.

And sometimes the public don’t know what they want. I went into this album thinking I was going to hate it. Pre-packaged, bland cover-versions, I thought. But if you don’t expect anything more from this album than a few nice tunes, then you won’t be disappointed. I mean, I doubt this is going to make it onto any playlist, but it’s pleasant enough. And for today (and probably only today), I’ll settle for ‘pleasant enough’.

This is someone called Jo Ann Castle playing Hejre Katy. It doesn’t get going until 1:47, but then…. blimey!

Tracks

Side 1

1. Hejre Kati (At 45 r.p.m. and switched to 33 1/3 r.p.m.)
2. Edelweiss
3. Tonight
4. Czardas
5. Yesterday
6. Malaguena

Side 2

1. Love Story
2. As Long As He Needs Me
3. Love Is Blue
4. Ritual Fire Dance
5. Clair De Lune
6. Bolero

Final score:

7 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Decca PFS 4212
First Released: 1970

What The Album Blurb Says…

The Moog Synthesizer, this incredible and new electronic musical wonder, has had an uneven ride on records, especially in the popular field. Effectively used on two great-selling albums (Switched-on Bach and The Well-Tempered Synthesizer), the Moog served the classics as a kind of musical duplicator, that is, reproducing and imitating the sound of real instruments. In the “pop” field it has been a fairly different story. Most often used as a gimmick for the odd effect, the Moog has not fully come into its own in the popular field. This may be due to the Moog’s personality: it speaks with strength, it doesn’t care to be in the background and if used improperly it completely overshadows everything else that is going on.

On this LP Claude Denjean comes to terms with the problem by giving the Moog its rightful place in a fair exchange between synthesizer and orchestra. To exciting settings of twelve great hit sons, this LP really gives the Moog, it all its electronic glory. That plus the stereo excellence of Phase 4 adds up to irresistible listening.

What I Say

Imagine it – 1970. It was a good year, vintage some might say. An especially good year for boys born in Croydon. Around September time I’d say. Yes, very good indeed.

Of course, space was still sexy, the Moon looming large in people’s minds as well as in the sky. Music and technology coming together in one big cosmic fusion, with the magnificent Moog! leading the charge. Wibbly wobbly farty noises added a bit of universal mystery to any song, and boy is that a lesson that Claude Denjean has learnt.

Claude Denjean. Ah, the mysterious Dutchman who rode to the rescue of the Moog!’s reputation. Noble Claude, the man who was going to put the Moog! centre stage to show it’s critics what it could do. What I can’t understand is why anybody wouldn’t like the Moog! it’s got an exclamation mark and everything. It’s also one of only three instruments named after a real person – The Moog!, The Sousaphone, and of course Rolf Harris’ Stylophone. Actually, that would be an album I would pay to hear, one combining those three iconic instruments. Someone should pitch this to E.M.I.

Anyway, it seems a bit unfair to call this a ‘Forgotten Album’, because there’s plenty of pictures and copies of it all over the internet. I fear that it may have become a bit of a cult classic because, like the moon, this album is made of pure cheese. Extremely cheesey cheese at that.

I shouldn’t be harsh. It’s just a reflection of the times, and I’m happy to accept an album that hangs on the idea of a synthesizer as a novelty. I would of course be happier if it was a better album though.

Stylistic tics aside, this could have been an opportunity not only to showcase the versatility of the Moog!, but also to use it to enhance the songs chosen for the album. Instead, it really is mostly an opportunity to make wibbly wobbly farty noises over pretty bland arrangements of popular songs.

The Moog! also seems to take on the melody lines of the songs, which is fair enough. It is after all the Moog!’s album – it says so on the cover and everything. It’s trying to have its cake and eat it (do Moog!’s eat cake? I’m not sure….) It could work if it were being purely tuneful, it could work if it were trying to be atmospheric, but trying to be both ends up as overkill.

The Moog! may well be a victim of its own success. It shows too much variety in what it can do to give this album any kind of thematic structure (oh, look at him, old Mr. Forgottenalbums, getting above himself and talking about thematic structure….) There’s no common thread through the (wildly differently arranged) songs here.

And the arrangements themselves are, frankly, weird. Not just odd, but outright looney tunes. All you need to do is play the two (yes, two!) ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ clips to see what I mean. Without the sleeve notes, it took me over half a minute to work out what the song was.

‘Come Together’ is unusually sombre, ‘Everybody’s Talkin’ has completely removed that beautiful rolling guitar that makes the song, and ‘Lay Lady Lay’ literally, honestly made me laugh out loud.

If this is the sound of the future, then we are all doomed. Doomed I tell you.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye
2. Nights In White Satin
3. Sugar, Sugar
4. Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head
5. House Of The Rising Sun
6. Everybody’s Talkin’

Side 2

1. Venus
2. Come Together
3. Bridge Over Troubled Water Clip 1 Clip 2
4. Lay Lady Lay
5. United We Stand
6. Proud Mary

Final score:

3! out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Music For Pleasure MFP 1266
First Released: 1968

What The Album Blurb Says…

Christmas is the most joyful festival of the Christian year, when we celebrate at the same time the turning point of the winter and the new hope that was brought to men with the birth of Jesus. Christmas is a time when we make up for the bleakness of the weather outside with the warmth of our spirits, and it is no coincidence that the songs which have come to be particularly associated with Christmas should be carols, which have always been the most cheerful and often the most secular of Christian songs.

On this record you find your favourite carols in an unfamiliar guise–we’ve called the album ‘Tijuana Christmas’, but you will find the mariachi sound taking on a richer and more varied flavour as the Toreo Band bring out the charms of our most beautiful carol tunes in imaginative brand new arrangements. ‘The Holly and the Ivy’ sets the pace with a bright, sparkling beat that even adds to the gaiety of one of our oldest and liveliest carols; ‘Silent Night’ a much more recent and a more devout carol, is given a quite contrasting treatment, slow and tender. ‘Hark, the Herald Angels Sing’ sets off again at a brisk, bouncy pace–and if you feel like dancing, why not? It may come as a surprise to you that our oldest carols used to be dances, and that the word itself described a form of circular dance.

In the preface to the Oxford book of carols you will find carols described as songs with a religious impulse that are simple, joyful, popular and modern. You’ll never have heard them sounding more joyful, popular or modern than they do on this exciting and original L.P.

BLASE MACHIN

What I Say

Christmas is a time for miracles, so they say, and the discovery of this album is another little miracle which may just find it’s place in the canon of Christmas Tales. You see, I was all ready to review a completely different album. Last January I picked up a copy of Mitch Miller’s ‘Holiday – Sing Along With Mitch’ which had a cover that both intrigued and terrified me. Look, surely that man must be Satan. There can be no other explanation. The picture on that album cover (here, go go look at it again) can only be a coded message. Mitch is wearing a ‘Santa’ hat. Santa is a well-known anagram of Satan. I think I’ve made my point.

Anyway, the point is that while researching a bit about Mitch, I realised that although he’s pretty much unknown in the UK, his profile in other parts of the world is significantly higher, and people might actually catch me out in the rubbish that I write here.

So it was a strange quirk of fate when last week I happened to be in a charity store, looking for something to put my TV on, when I noticed this album, Tijuana Christmas, staring at me from the record shelf. I can only assume that some enterprising shop-hand had tried to do a touch of seasonal promotion and put this on prominent display. Well, there was no choice, I had to buy it. Wouldn’t you?

But that’s not the miraculous part. Oh no!

When I got it home, and proudly showed it off to my wife, The Very Lovely Mrs. McDingo, she was delighted to inform me that this very album had been a significant part of her childhood. It seems that, when growing up, it was her family’s tradition on Christmas Eve to go out to the local woodland, find a tree, hack it down, take it home, and decorate it to the delightful strains of this album. Christmas Eve’s soundtrack in her childhood was this set of tunes.

It would therefore be churlish of me to be anything but lavish in my praise of this masterpiece of Mexican Musicala, surely? Hmmm…. well, as it’s the season of goodwill, I’m prepared to overlook the fact that the chances are that The Torero Band (whose name doesn’t even appear on the front of the album – it’s in smallish print on the back) have probably never been further south than Croydon. MFP, the label, boasts of it’s offices in Amsterdam, Brussels, Johannesburg, Cologne, London, Paris and Sydney. It has no offices, it would seem, anywhere on the American continent. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that ‘The Torero Band’ is really a front for a bunch of session musicians from Welwyn Garden City, but I think you’d have a hard time proving me wrong.

And then, just this morning I was reading Bill Bryson’s The Lost Continent when I found this pertinent comment:-

It had never once occurred to me in thirty-six years of living that anyone listened to Mexican music for pleasure… there would be another song. Or rather, it would be the same song again, as far as I could tell. That is the unfortunate thing about Mexican musicians. They only seem to know one tune.

Which just about sums up the album. There is a clear formula to the songs – introduction, featuring the key melody line (or occasionally a variation thereupon), which lasts for four bars. Then the main tune comes in hitting with full Mariachi orchestration, playing the song with a strong swing beat with that distinctive raspy brass, sweep you along for 2 minutes, then start with the next song.

I’ve complained time and time again about the homogenisation of music on albums like this, but in this case it’s the overarching style that is the reason for the samey feel – of course the tunes all sound the same. That’s the whole point. It took me a while to understand that, but I think I’m there now!

But the real acid test came when I put this album on this morning to listen to it again. It was early – certainly before 7:30. I and two bleary eyed boys aged 6 and 4 were looking to start the day. The moment I put this album on, both the boys started dancing. Really grooving to the tunes, and of course, I couldn’t help but join them. So for once I followed the instructions on the front. And it was ace.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Tracks

Side 1

1. The Holly And The Ivy
2. Silent Night
3. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
4. While Shepherds Watched
5. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
6. Good King Wenceslas

Side 2

1. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
2. Away In A Manger
3. The First Nowell
4. Christians Awake
5. Once In Royal David’s City
6. O, Come All Ye Faithful

No Soundclips this time. Oh no. You lucky people, you can download the whole album. Why not play this forgotten gem during your Christmas lunch, eh? Click HERE to download (38 Mb)

Final score:

9 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Stereo Gold Award MER 336
First Released: 1971

What The Album Blurb Says…

Here’s a dance party with two favourite ingredients – the great, nostalgic sounds of Glenn Miller and hit songs by The Beatles.

These sweet and swinging arrangements were written by Bill Holcombe (an old T. Dorsey sideman), who has taken these British bred hits and written the inimitable Glenn Miller style around them.

The Hiltonaires under the baton of Stan Reynolds are joined by the vocal stylings (a la Modernaires) of Tony Mansell and his group.

Here’s big band at its best – with familiar hit songs.

What I Say

I apologise for going highbrow for a moment, but Samuel Johnson once wrote of women preachers, “Sir, a woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hinder legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.” If the great Dr. Johnson were alive today, I am convinced that he would have felt the same way about this album. Well, maybe ‘convinced’ is putting it a bit strongly, but I can understand this attitude entirely when applied to ‘the big band beat of the Hiltonaires’.

Come with me for a moment into the future. The year is 2013, and someone decides to release an album of Coldplay songs performed in the Mel & Kim style. There’d be uproar, rioting in the streets and possibly the end of civilization as we know it. But back in 1971 this kind of evil alchemy was not just thinkable, it was actually happening.

It’s of little surprise then that this was released on the ‘Stereo Gold Award’ label. To be fair, I was as much drawn to this album by the very fact that it was a Stereo Gold Award offering as I was by the fine bevy of 1970s lovelies on the cover. You may recall that Stereo Gold Award have already given us Big Dave who I exposed as a fraud and a charlatan. It seems that the label was owned by a chancer who just made cheap, cash-in rubbish, and this album certainly fits into that category.

There’s just so much wrong with this album it’s difficult to know where to begin. Well, for a start I’m confused as to why they actually included some Glenn Miller / Big Band tunes. After all, the album’s called ‘Dance to the Beatles Hits…) Does that mean you have to stop dancing when Moonlight Serenade comes on? It’s preposterous I tell you. Is this a Beatles album? Is this a Glenn Miller album? Frankly I’m confused, and I suspect it shows.

And then there’s the fact that these are two entirely different genres of music that simply do not fuse well together. I accept wholeheartedly the fact that the Beatles, and in particular Lennon & McCartney wrote classic, timeless songs which can withstand reinterpretation and have been covered, reasonably successfully many thousands of times. Which then begs the question how did they make these Beatles songs sound so crap.

I think the answer lies in the fact that the Hiltonaires (or at least Bill Holcombe’s arrangements) concentrate on the style rather than the substance of the song. There is no sensitivity to the mood or the lyrics of the Beatles numbers, it seems to have been rattled off a checklist of Big Band stylistic hooks regardless of the order or original speed of the songs.

The very worst culprit (if you can get past ‘Hey Jude’ without waves of nausea welling up) is the butchering of ‘Let It Be’. Not only does this start with the most awful Barbershop Quartet style prologue, but is the possessor of possibly the worst guitar solo ever, both in tone and tune. Really, it’s that bad. Just listen. See? There’s 20 seconds you’re never having back.

I didn’t expect to enjoy this album, and I wasn’t disappointed. In the past I’ve commented that the brevity of an album often makes up for its awfulness. Not in this case. It may only be 24 minutes long, but you try sticking cocktail sticks in your thighs for 24 minutes, and believe me, it will seem like an eternity. This is the aural equivalent.

The good news however is that this isn’t the last Stereo Gold Award album in my collection. Let joy be unconfined!

Tracks

Side 1

1. Moonlight Serenade
2. Something
3. I Want To Hold Your Hand
4. Michelle
5. Bird Cage Walk
6. Londonderry Air

Side 2

1. Hey Jude
2. Let It Be
3. Yesterday
4. Diamond Rock
5. A Hard Day’s Night

Final score:

1 out of 10 – for using the term ‘vocal stylings’ unselfconsciously.

Label / Cat. No: HIRA HL 8536
First Released: 1972

What The Album Blurb Says…

In the grooves of the record contained within this sleeve is a wealth of talent performed by one family of four people – mother, father, daughter and son.

Don’t run away with the idea tha this highly popular family foursome became a versatile show overnight. What they are today is the product of many years experience in the world of entertainment. The mother and father, Ellen and Eddy, were both playing individually in concert parties when they met and married in their early 20’s. Ellen is an organist and vocalist and Eddy is an organist, accordionist and pianist.

The musical twosome continued for a number of years but it was a forgone conclusion tha their two children, Sharron and Adrian, would follow in their parents’ footsteps.

Sharron had just reached the age of 10 when she was considered proficient as an alto saxophonist and was introduced into her parents’ well-presented show. As years went by, she added clarinet, soprano and tenor saxophones, bass guitar, vibraphone and her contralto voice and is now a very accomplished young lady – a versatile musician with a charming personality.

Adrian was introduced into the show two years later at the age of eight and his terrific personality showed through in his ability as a percussionist and guitarist. Now he is a young man with a wealth of experience behind him and is a very polished performer.

It was at this point that “The Kaye Family” was born and Sharron and Adrian soon proved their worth by helping to obtain rave notices in “The Stage” and other newspaper media.

The family went on to appear at many top venues throughout the country in every field of the variety entertainment industry – theatres, halls, commercial studios, clubs, cabaret, restaurants and the like.

success followed success and now HIRA RECORDS place The Kaye Family before you to perform at your command in your own home. This high quality long-playing record shows clearly some of the many facets of this fascinating family.

Sit back and relax and dwell in the wonderland of sound that the Kaye Family presents to you – and you alone!

Drift along on clouds of romance, feel philosophical, hear the swirling colours of sun-drenched Spain, linger upon lonely seashores, fly amongst the stellar constellations, go for a trolley ride, swing with the up-tempo big band style beat.

yes, all this comes to you everytime you fall under the magical spell of the sound of The Kaye Family.

Happy listening!

Martin Philips

What I Say

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. Hello. Sorry for the delay…. The real world took over for a while. I’ll try not to let it happen again.

And what a way to come back, a return visit to The Kaye Family everyone’s favourite family musical combo.

After hearing the ‘Live!’ album, I just had to go back to the charity shop where I’d bought it to see if there were any others there, and Bingo!, this little beauty was in my hands in a matter of moments.

Pre-dating ‘Live!’ by a couple of couple of years, this album is so much more fulfilling. The production values here are vastly superior, and we have a clear sound rather than the somewhat muddy live recording. Having said that, I’m not sure if that’s entirely a good thing. After all, you can actually hear Sharron (note, two ‘r’s – very showbiz) and Ellen’s arch vocals, combining to provide a sound that I find slightly scary. Listen to ‘You’re Just In Love’ and tell me you haven’t been even slightly traumatised.

The album is of course worth every penny, if only for the sleeve notes. At last I get to know all their names. Ellen and Eddy – what a pairing. A partnership made in the stars, names that chime together. And let’s not forget the second generation, Adrian and Sharrrrrron, virtuoso musicians in their own right. And please note, I’ve been very realistic here, and made sure that I didn’t run away with the idea tha this highly popular family foursome became a versatile show overnight. Only a fool would do such a thing.

Musically there’s not much of a surprise – I can’t see that they took any major direction changes between this and ‘live’. I mean, I would love to have found that this was their forgotten psychedelic masterpiece, or they’d made an experimental jazz album. But this is again simply a series of standards set to a bontempi bossa nova beat.

Which takes me back to Adrian. I may have suggested in my last review that he was conceived just because Ellen and Eddy needed a drummer for the band. I take it back of course. After all, he’s not exactly prominent – throughout the whole of side one I couldn’t tell if it was Ade or the organ’s built in rhythms that were providing the percussion – some of the fancier fills during Telstar testify to a human hand. His playing is subdued, almost unnoticeable. If only Keith Moon had been more like Adrian Kaye, things would be very different today. Ah, the benefit of hindsight.

The choice of songs seems to show their club roots – a couple of ‘modern’ tracks, and plenty of old favourites for the mums and dads. Of course, with Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrron being a clarinettist, ‘Stranger on the Shore’ was a given – I suspect she’d just taken her Grade 5 exam, and that was one of the set pieces, so the family recycled it into their set, chuck in a bit of an inappropriate fancy rhythm and Bob’s your uncle. You know, Bob Kaye. Everyone knows Bob.

So, er…. yes. This was pretty much as I’d expected. I’m glad I revisited this fine family. I can’t decide if it’s a good or a bad thing that this kind of act isn’t around any more. Or maybe it is – maybe I should’ve been watching ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ to discover the 21st Century’s ‘Kaye Family’ rather than listening to 35 year old oddities. All I know is that my world is marginally richer thanks to Ellen, Eddy, Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrron and Adrian. Thanks guys, you’ve been great.

As a special treat, you too can listen to ‘The Kaye Family Album’. I’ve stuck the whole thing up HERE though you may have to endure some scantily clad girls in your area to download the file. Sorry. Just scroll down a bit, wait for the counter to hit zero (it’s only a few seconds delay), type in the code, and there you have it, The Kaye Family Album in all its glory. I’m good to you people, I really am. Oh, and you can see the full size cover by clicking on the image at the top of the entry. Really, I should stop being this good. It hurts.

Tracks

Side 1

1. The Wonder Of You
2. Blowin’ In The Wind
3. Stranger On The Shore
4. You’re Just In Love
5. Telstar

Side 2

1. Trolley Song
2. You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me
3. Espana
4. The Wedding
5. Ticket To Ride / ‘A’ Train / Chattanooga Choo-Choo

Final score:

7 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Hallmark CHM 624
First Released: 1969

What The Album Blurb Says…

For those of you who are as yet unacquainted with the happy looking gentleman on the right, permit us to introduce you to Mr. Bob Blaine

Early biographical details can be found on the sleeve of his previous album ‘BOB BLAINE SINGS COUNTRY MUSIC FOR BEDTIME’ – Hallmark HM. 581. Suffice it therefore for us to say that he hails from Liverpool, has had years of experience with many name bands, and, as you will discover, he is a very fine singer.

Bob is considered by many people in the music business to be a walking encyclopeadia on standard songs and for this album he has personally selected the best, and most romantic of the songs of the Islands and just for good measure has thrown in three brand new ones that he wrote himself, including the title song ‘HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON.’

So if you want to escape the weather, the tax man, or anything else that bothers you, may we suggest you get the album, go home, slice a pineapple, light a sunlamp, turn on the record player, sit in your favourite chair, play the record, close your eyes and you’re off to Hawaii – Bon Voyage.

DON TODD

What I Say

Last time I admitted my ignorance regarding national musical exports, I managed to (quite understandably) ruffle a few Canadian feathers. As I pointed out at the time, any nation that gives us Celine Dion should surely face international sanctions. Anyway, I confess an equal lack of knowledge on the musical history of Hawaii, and shan’t compound my ignorance with ill-informed commentary…..

Oh, who am I kidding. That’s my stock-in-trade – ill informed opinion based on incomplete facts and minimal research. So, what do I know about Hawaiian music? Well, there’s the Ukelele, which isn’t what George Formby played (that was a hybrid between a ukelele and a banjo, and was quite seriously known as a banjolele. See, I do know some things….) Beyond that, I get stuck, although I did like that Israel Kamakawiwo’ole song they used in that advert.

And, er…. that’s about it I think. Except to say, I really don’t think that what we’re presented here bears much relation to real Hawaiian music. Not least because it’s been recorded by some Scouser who’s probably never been further west than Llandudno. To my uneducated ears, it sounds like a series of slow tempo Country Music songs with a bit of ukelele and slide guitar stuck in the mix for good measure. I’m prepared to accept that this might be the genuine Hawaiian sound, but I seriously doubt it.

The songs really do all sound the same – same tempo, same arrangements, more or less the same melody, with just a couple of exceptions. “Black Is The Colour Of My True Loves Hair”, despite sounding like a Donovan lyric is quite a dark, moody piece, clearly showing the harder side of our Scally Bob.

The second slightly odd song on an album called Hawaiian Honeymoon is ‘Flower of Tahiti’. I had to go and check on Google Earth, but I’m right. Tahiti really isn’t anywhere near Hawaii. But hey, those South Sea Islands are all the same, aren’t they….?

In 1969 Merseyside, Hawaii, and indeed Tahiti, must’ve seemed endlessly exotic, and they were therefore prepared to accept any old tat with a Hawaiian tag just to get themselves a taste of the islands. But knowledge of other cultures was a little more…. basic than perhaps it is today (anybody for My Boomerang Won’t Come Back? Anybody….). I’m sure the English record buying public were prepared to believe that this light country froth really was the sound of the islands.

And clearly Hawaii is synonymous with romance, lust and dusky maidens if the cover’s anything to go buy. Despite the title track being about the romance and special nature of taking your new bride to Hawaii, the cover depicts a new bride in a revealing negligee, clutching a book called ‘Honeymoon Hints’, looking shocked because her husband has lured four Hawaiian beauties to the boudoir using only his Ronco Slide Guitar. Looking shocked and mildly put out is probably the best reaction he could have hoped for – I’m pretty sure if I’d lured four dusky maidens to the bedchamber on my honeymoon I wouldn’t be a father of three now…

All in all this is a bit of a wallpaper album. It’s so gentle it just washes over you so that you almost don’t notice, like a warm breeze in Waikiki. Not that I’ve been to Waikiki, but I have been to Llandudno.

Finally, there’s not much out there about ol’ Bob Blaine. In fact I could find nothing, which is strange considering how he’d worked with many ‘name bands’. I do wonder why, if they’re so famous, why didn’t they tell us exactly who Bob had been working with. However, in my trawl of the internet (or quick search for those of you who prefer accuracy), I found out that you almost certainly don’t want to go and Google “Bob Blaine” +singer, and look at the top result. That’s not our Bob Blaine, and that’s definitely not Hawaii, no sir. Seriously NSFW.

And this is how to do it right:-

And this is a bit of banjolele for you good people.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Hawaiian Honeymoon
2. Hawaiian Wedding Song
3. Song Of The Islands
4. South Sea Island Magic
5. Blue Shadows And White Gardenias
6. Beautiful Dreamer

Side 2

1. Aloha Oe
2. Hawaiian Memories
3. Moon Of Manakoora
4. Black Is The Colour Of My True Love’s Hair
5. Flower Of Tahiti

Final score:

5.5 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Golden Hour (Pye) GH511
First Released: This Compilation 1970

What The Album Blurb Says…

John Schroeder, the brilliant young producer and creator of Sounds Orchestral has come a long way since 1962, the year that first saw him thinking about a musical concept that sprang to triumphant fruition three years later when “Cast your fate to the wind” sets Sounds on the international chart trail.

But while the years since have been filled with hit sounds for a multitude of artists, Sounds Orchestral continues to occupy a very special place in John’s affections. For time and again, in the company of those other Sounds Orchestral veterans, Johnny Pearson and engineer Ray Prickett, John Schroeder returns to the studios to make fresh albums, yet albums that still retain the ingredients that keeps Sounds Orchestral a best-seller all over the world.

This, his latest contribution to the Sounds success story starts, appropriately enough with the Vince Guaraldi classic that began it all. But complementing it are a string of familiar and enduring melodies that have found their way into many hit parades and into the affections of millions of people. Johnny Pearson has arranged them with the brand of perfection that has become his trademark and because the musical performances that graces them maintains the Sounds Orchestral formula, the result is sheer enjoyment for anyone who loves good music.

Arranged, Conducted by, and featuring the Piano of, Johnny Pearson
Produced by John Schroeder
Engineer: Ray Prickett

What I Say

When I was a sweet young thing of 13, I recorded a copy of ‘Waiting’ by Fun Boy Three from one of my sisters friends. Shhh, yes, I know, home taping is killing music. It’s a great album, and one I still own. But my over-riding memory is that it managed to fit on one side of a C60 tape, all except for the last word of the last song (’that’ of ‘well fancy that’). If I’d bothered, I probably could have edited out the silence with judicial use of the pause button and made up those few precious moments to allow the final song in its entirety to fit on the tape. As it was, I didn’t bother, and I quite liked the way the album just hung in the air, not quite resolved.

The point in all this reminiscing is that clearly the album, if it could fit on one side of a C60 only really lasted about 30 minutes. Pretty short for albums which in those days, you’d reckon to get on one side of a C90. 45 minutes was pretty much the norm until CDs came along and stretched things out. So to have an album with a guaranteed ‘Golden Hour’ of music would’ve been quite a bargain. Mind you, you’re not getting any more than that. This album runs to 1 hour, 1 minute and 13 seconds. That’s about as close as you can get, though I wouldn’t set your watch by it. Well, I might set your watch by it, but not mine.

I have to tackle the cover. I can understand that with the butterflies, the fish and the logs / rocks you’re getting a pretty literal depiction of ‘The Earth, The Sea & The Sky’, but whoever thought it would be a winning formula to stick a dead fish on the front of an album cover really needs to go back to marketing school. I grew up believing that album art was something to treasure. That in some cases, the cover was as important as the contents, that together they produced the whole experience intended by the artist. That may be because I listened to a lot of Prog Rock (I know, I know…) and they tended to go for the overblown, pompous, album cover.

But it was all part of the experience, listening to the album, poring over the cover art, looking for clues, for details, for messages. An hour spent looking at a picture of a couple of dead fish might push some people over the edge, however great the music is.

And the music isn’t great. It’s competent. It’s nicely arranged, but it does nothing new. It falls between two stools like so many of its contemporaries – It won’t radically change the arrangements of the music because the target market need nice, recognisable tunes that they can tap their toes to. So the arrangements aren’t particularly bold or exciting. But equally, they don’t have the full Orchestral sweep that would put them firmly into that realm. In fact, I wonder who on earth came up with the name ‘Sounds Orchestral’. It sounds like a jazz trio plus a violin or two when the budget allowed. That it took John Schroeder three years from having the idea to making ‘Sounds Orchestral’ a reality makes you think that he spent that time building the foundations of something special. I suspect he didn’t leave himself enough time to come up with that winning idea. That, or he just got distracted for a couple of years building a scale model of York Minster out of matchsticks and Jaffa Cake packets.

I’m afraid that this is all fairly generic stuff. Nothing in particular stands out (except for the drummer – he must’ve been sleeping with the Engineer to have got placed so high in the mix. That is of course a joke, and I’m not implying anything of the sort…..) Anyway, where was I… Oh yes. I don’t expect innovation on every album I listen to, but if I could just find a spark of something interesting, something new or different then I would look far more kindly on this kind of album. But I really can’t here, no matter how I try.

The saving grace however is that it does have a copy of ‘Good Morning Starshine’ on it. I don’t think you can ever top the Original Cast sound recording of that particular song, but it’s always good to hear any version of a song that has the following lyrics:-

Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba
Le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla
Nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song

Can’t go wrong there now, can you?!

Tracks

Side 1

1. Cast Your Fate To The Wind
2. What A Wonderful World
3. Moon River
4. Stranger On The Shore
5. Guantanamera
6. Nocturne (Chopin)
7. Petite Fleur
8. Moonglow
9. Carnival
10. Many Moons Ago

Side 2

1. Good Morning Starshine
2. Do You Know The Way To San Jose
3. The Poor People Of Paris
4. Canadian Sunset
5. Romance On The North Sea
6. Starglow
7. Red Roses For A Blue Lady
8. Pretty Flamingo
9. Waltz Of The Flowers (Valse Des Fleurs)
10. Exodus

Lots more information about ‘Sounds Orchestral can be found here

Final score:

4 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Hirra HLS 207831
First Released: 1974

What The Album Blurb Says…

The Kaye Family must surely rank as unique among musical entertainers. Mother, Father, Daughter and Son, whilst each projecting strong individual qualities in their respective talents, merge into a blendship of melodic unity, which is smoothly maintained throughout a warm and appealing performance.

Audience attention is commanded by supreme musicianship, smack on timing that would do justice to a space shot and a superb arranging ability. Deeply insighted into people’s requirement in entertainment, they have the happy gift of presenting the very best material covering a spectrum from light to popular music.

This intimate family unit, small as it is, nevertheless produces the big sound.

The skilful change of immaculate gowns, by the ladies who supply the vocals, compliments their splendid harmony.

There is nothing magical in their success, just hard unrelenting work, dedication to their art and that impelling desire in all true professionals to bring and give only of the best to the people.

Ringing the curtain down on The Kaye Family is a difficult task, the clamour is always for more.

Call your own family together, set the turntable to 33 1/3 r.p.m. and be assured that you too will spin this disc many times.

DICK DOYLE
Gwaun-Cae-Gurwen
South Wales

What I Say

Can I get this out of the way first. Musical family groups are creepy. From the Von Trapp singers to The Jackson Five, there is something just so…. wrong about large members of the same family performing together. I think the optimum level is two brothers – just look at Oasis, Spacehog or The Black Crowes. Two brothers bring the necessary friction, the dynamic which pushes both to outperform and out achieve the other.

But just look at the Kaye Family. You know behind the bearded face at the keyboard lies a tartar. A man who has marshalled his wife and children into his dreams of stardom. “Sharon darling, we need another baby. We don’t have a drummer. Brace yourself…”.

And this is the result…. I’m saying nothing.

To be fair, the family are all talented musicians (in their own way), but how many teenagers would a) voluntarily practice their musical instruments, b) want to spend large amounts of their free time rehearsing with their parents, and c) appearing in public, not only with your parents, but wearing the same clothes as them. I can only imagine the number would be very small, which means that either the Kaye Family are one in a milllion, or Old Man Kaye beats his children in time to the ‘Rumba’ setting on his organ.

Of course he doesn’t. I think legally I need to make it clear that I do not believe that Mr Kaye in any way mistreats his family. Though of course, he does mistreat the audience with his organ led arrangements. The Rumba is his favourite setting (NOT for beating his family, NOT for beating his family – I can’t stress that enough), as everything has that very 1970s latin arrangement to try and make them sound exotic and mysterious. I’m not sure how exotic and mysterious the Canton Liberal Club, Cardiff on a June night in 1974 really was, but I’m sure the Kaye Family helped the atmosphere along enormously.

These are clearly a band who’ve done the club circuit. They belt out the numbers double fast, not giving the audience the chance to catch their breath, throw missiles or shout insults. Just listen to the introduction and see how long it takes them to launch into the fastest version of ‘Cabaret’ that you will ever, ever hear. And ‘Aquarius’ gets the same treatment. Be still my racing heart, it’s all that I can do to keep my breath.

I’ve often found that if you listen carefully to a lot of these old albums I find, you can often find one of the musicians, there in the background, just itching to be allowed a chance to break free and really show what he can do. You don’t have to look too hard on this album to find that member of the group. The son (let’s call him Jim. I have no idea what his name is, but Jim seems as good as any) clearly toes the party line on the drums. His father’s arrangements are strictly adhered to. But there seems to be a pay off. Maybe Jim’s got something on his old man… some indiscretion maybe, or knowledge of a dark family secret. But clearly there is a deal been struck here. Jim plays his old man’s parts to the letter, but he’s allowed to let rip at the end of the songs. And by Jove does this boy let rip! Think Animal from The Muppets on steroids. Jim is up for some serious thrashing of those skins. So the gentle folk rhythms of ‘Where Have All The Flowers Gone’ end with Jim rockin’ the house. And good on him I say.

Dad demands his moment in the spotlight, and gets a solo spot with his ‘Short Selection of Famous Overtures’, which I will just say is possibly the most tedious thing I have ever had to listen to. Although Jim livens it up a bit at the end in his own inimitable style. And then Jim gets to lead on ‘Midnight In Moscow’, and things start to go crazy. Seven Russian Themed songs in a medley with drums as lead instrument all the way. Magic in a tin it is, magic in a tin.

Ultimately, I can’t blame them for the way they look, because it was 1974 so this was what was expected (even the silver capes, I suspect). I can’t blame them for providing populist entertainment because they’re doing the club circuit, and that’s what’s needed. I can’t even blame them for being slightly creepy because they’re a family, and unlike a lot of families, at least they’re spending a lot of time together and doing something creative.

What I can blame them for is getting Dick Doyle to write their album blurb, and for using a word as obscene as ‘blendship’. Eurghhh. What were they thinking?

Oh, and it turns out his name’s not Jim. It’s Adrian. I should have guessed. He looks like an Adrian.

Tracks

Side 1

Cabaret
Put On A Happy Face
Something’s Going To Happen Tonight
Love Me With All Your Heart
Quando Quando
Never Ending Song Of Love
Everybody Loves A Lover
High On A Hill
Where Have All The Flowers Gone?
Too Young

Side 2

Granada
White Rose Of Athens
A Short Selection Of Famous Overtures
Aquarius
Midnight In Moscow
Volga Boat Song
Gopak
Black Eyes
From Russia With Love
Kalinka

Final score:

6.5 out of 10 but only because I’m strangely drawn to their bass playing daughter…

Label / Cat. No: Columbia – STWO 2
First Released: 1968

What The Album Blurb Says…

THE BREAKTHROUGH TO THE EXCITING WORLD OF STEREO SOUND.

A further selection of tracks from the spectacular and exciting Studio Two catalogue…. each one chosen to highlight the variety of repertoire and stereo sound quality; together forming a highly entertaining album that will be appreciated by all listeners….

What I Say

I’m big enough to admit when I’m wrong. And I’m wrong. You see, I had always assumed that these albums that were released to demonstrate the exciting new world of Stereo Sound would use the new technology in a clumsy and naive way. I had got it into my head that we would be working with extremes of stereo, like ‘Now I’m Here’ by Queen, the sound engineer throwing the balance left then right then back again, so it felt to the listener like he was being assaulted on all sides.

And I was wrong. ‘Impact’, or IMPACT to give it its correct title (you should’ve learned by now, I’m a sucker for capitalised words), is a far more subtle and entertaining beast. The stereo mix is in no way extreme and is in fact rather delicate.

I love the impression you get that every artiste had their own Orchestra, or at the least, a group of musicians to do their bidding. There’s a big difference between Cliff Richard and The Shadows, and Ron Goodwin and His Orchestra. Every man (for they are indeed men) on this album has his own back up set of musicians, except for poor Jack Emblow, who, tagged on at the end even has to have his instrument noted by his name. Is he such a poor accordion player that we need to be told which instrument it is that he’s mangling? How much further would Jack Emblow’s career gone if he’d had an Orchestra of his own? We shall never know now.

And what names to conjour with. Why wasn’t I named ‘Norrie Paramor’, ‘Pepe Jaramillo’ or even ‘Basil Henriques’? You just don’t get names like that any more. Or if you do, they don’t seem to be showing up on my radar…. which is hardly surprising seeing as I’m based in a small market town near the border with Wales…. but I digress. These are SERIOUS names. Names to reckon with. And, as if Acker Bilk wasn’t in itself a name to rise above the average, he then insists on being addressed as Mr. Acker Bilk. How cool is that? Sir, I salute you.

The music on the album is also top notch – mind you, with that many orchestras in attendance, you’d bloody hope so. But when an album starts with the slide trombone of ‘The Stripper’, you’re in for a real treat. There are no duds here, though I’m not entirely sold on the cover of ‘The Fool On The Hill’. Too soon I think, chaps. Furthermore, when you listen to ‘Legend of the Glass Mountain’, you just know it’s a film soundtrack in the good old tradition. There was no need to add “(Theme from film)” after the title. It screams movie at you from each and every honey-draped string.

But the very greatest treat on this record is the tune ‘Wheels’, performed here by Joe Loss And His Orchestra. I will wager that most of you will look at that and think ‘Wheels? I don’t know that one’. Listen to it. You know it, oh yes, you know it well.

Tracks

Side 1

1. The Stripper – David Rose & His Orchestra
2. Soul Coaxing – Norrie Paramor & His Strings
3. Stranger On The Shore – Mr. Acker Bilk & The Stan Tracey Big Brass
4. Sucu Sucu – Pepe Jaramillo & His Latin-American Rhythm
5. Love Is Blue – Franck Pourcel & His Orchestra
6. Legend of The Glass Mountain (Theme from film) – Ron Goodwin & His Orchestra

Side 2

1. Wheels – Joe Loss & His Orchestra
2. Live For Life (from the film) – The Norman Newell Orchestra
3. Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Basil Henriques & The Waikiki Islanders
4. The Fool On The Hill – Ralph Dollimore & His Orchestra
5. A Man And A Woman (from the film – Manuel & The Music Of The Mountains
6. Ritual Fire Dance – Jack Emblow (Accordian)

Final score:

9 out of 10 – the highest so far.

Bonus:-

Alternate version of ‘Wheels by ‘The String-A-Longs’.

Extra Double Bonus for people who remember the 80s in Britain…

Label / Cat. No: Marble Arch MAL 638
First Released: 1966

What The Album Blurb Says…

None. Which is a shame. I’d like to know more about Joe Henderson. And his friends.

What I Say

The Electric Guitar was invented, almost certainly in the 1920s. The first known performance using one is recorded as being in 1932. That’s 34 years before Joe “Mr. Piano” Henderson (as he indeed is known) recorded this album. In the intervening 34 years, Rock ‘n’ Roll had been invented, Elvis, the Stones and the Beatles had all come and made their mark. So why do we find ourselves in 1966 still making and producing this piano-led drivel?

Don’t get me wrong. I like a nice bit of piano. Keane have made a virtue of using one instead of electric guitars, and I am indeed in my own small way a very amateurish pianist. But surely even in 1966 this was annoying, trite, banal, undemanding pap. Surely.

I suppose I’m from an era that spawned Prog Rock, Punk, New Wave etc. etc. We can see the rapid progression of musical tastes and styles, feeling the evolution of one form into another. Maybe fads change more quickly now, and we constantly expect the new, the different and the exciting. Was there really a time when people just liked one kind of music and stuck with it? I suppose there must’ve been – Country music has very dedicated fans who won’t listen to anything outside of their narrow genre. Metal heads are equally unwilling to take off the blinkers.

But what surprises me the most is not just that it’s the same style of music which seems to keep cropping up over and over again, it’s the fact that it’s also the same bloody songs. Why would anyone, even in 1966 need another recording of ‘On Top Of Old Smokey’, ‘Hole In the Bucket’, or even ‘Hello Dolly’.

And Joe, or simply ‘Mr Piano’ as I shall refer to him from here-on-in is clearly not without talent. For a start he was the best selling artist (record and sheet music sales) of 1958 with a song, Trudie, which also won an Ivor Novello award. This man, Mr. Piano can write and play. He also got to snog Petula Clark which even in my youthful opinion can’t have been a bad thing. So my question remains, why waste such a clear talent on derivative crap? It’s such a waste.

Joe’s ‘Friends’ (who I sneakily suspect are session singers) provide the kind of group singing not head since the heady days of The Brian Rogers Connection on 3-2-1. I’m not sure if it’s the same ‘friends’ who adorn the cover, but you’ll notice that Mr. Piano seems to have significantly more female friends than male, by a ratio of 5:1. The sly old dog. There he is, knocking one out (a tune, of course) while smiling broadly at the winsome girl in the islands sweater. He knows how to impress the ladies. After all, he’s Mr. Piano. Though I wonder if anyone could explain to me why there’s a strange orange soft toy splodged on the end of the piano…

You may have guessed by now that I’m not too keen on this. It’s just…. joyless I suppose. Formulaic, singing to the choirstalls. I can’t claim Mr. Piano sold out, but he’s clearly providing a product that he knows there’s a market for. I shouldn’t judge a 1966 album by 2007 standards (even if Sgt. Peppers was 1967 and stands up reasonably well to critical appraisal). But if I wasn’t so thoroughly judgemental, we wouldn’t have this journal now, would we.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Hold Me
2.Everybody Loves Somebody
3. I Love You Because
4. Together
5. I Wouldn’t Trade You For The World
6.Near You
7. I Won’t Forget You
8. Hello Dolly (from the Mus. Prod. “Hello Dolly”)

Side 2

1. The More We Are Together
2. Nice People
3. Who (from “Sunny)
4.On Top Of Old Smokey
5. Heartbreaker
6. Glad Rag Doll
7. Who’s Sorry Now
8. Hole In the Bucket
9. Heart (from “Damn Yankees”)
10. Heartaches
11. Heart Of My Heart
12. Ay, Ay, Ay
13. After The Ball
14. Goodnight Ladies
15.The Band Played On
16. So Long, It’s Been Good To Know You

Final score:

2 out of 10