Label / Cat. No: Sacred SAC 5061
First Released: 1972

What The Album Blurb Says…

For a number of years now Jim Roberts and Norma Zimmer have provided moments of unusual enjoyment for millions of Americans. In the world of pure entertainment, longevity is synonymous with popular response. Norma and Jim have been premier performers for many years now courtesy of us, the American people, and Lawrence Welk. Mr. Welk ultimately decides who the performers will be; we feel his choice is just right!

This is the third album by Norma and Jim. Their style of singing seems perfectly matched – it’s as comfortable as a pair of gloves. they blend beautifully singing some of the most popular gospel songs of the day – and some songs that are ageless. HIS NAME IS WONDERFUL is a favourite and is performed by mass choirs around the world. thank you Audrey Mieir, for the inspiration with which you’ve graced the world! I wonder how often BEYOND THE SUNSET has been sung, played, whistled, and used as a source of comfort since Virgil Brock first penned the lovely lyric some years ago. You will enjoy having this recording in your home.

The performances of hymns on TV by Jim and Norma have opened a door that has given many additional thousands an opportunity to hear them in person; in hymn festivals, in concerts, as solo performers in Billy Graham Crusades, and in churches everywhere.

the creative arrangements on this album are by Buryl Red. Mr. Red is gifted in many areas of music, one of which is the art of arranging. you will also hear his lovely song entitled HIS GENTLE LOOK.

KURT KAISER

What I Say

I know, I know. When I bought this album I had a tiny sliver of hope that this was going to actually be about somebody called ‘Wonderful’. You know, in the same vein as ‘A boy named Sue’. I mean, there are some unusual names about. I once knew someone called Zachariah Puddlechuck, and that would make a great name for an album – ‘His Name Is Zachariah Puddlechuck’. But no, with crushing inevitability, this turned out to be an album of Christian songs, extolling the virtue of some chap name of Jesus. Or Wonderful. I’m still not sure which.

The sleeve notes warrant a bit of a further look. Firstly, longevity is apparently synonymous with popular response, apparently. Well look at Cliff Richard for a start. He’s been around since the Pilgrim Fathers, and who wants to listen to his records? Oh yes, my Mother-in-Law. Alright then, maybe Jonathan King would be a better example. There’s a man who is pretty much universally unpopular but who won’t stop making his bloody songs.

Also, who is the Lawrence Welk character who stands head and shoulders above the American People then? Well, you can see for yourself, but seeing as this was released by London label, and I’ve managed to go 37 years without ever hearing his name even casually mentioned before, I’m prepared to stick my neck out and say that that’s going to be pretty meaningless to a lot of Brits. Apologies of course to all those people better informed and educated than I…

However, I am most concerned by the line ‘You will enjoy having this recording in your home’. Is it me, or does that sound more like a command than a recommendation. Maybe it’s the Teutonic tone of Kurt Kaiser’s comment that scare the living bewonderful out me, but I’m scared. I’m scared because I have that album in my home, and I didn’t (and don’t) enjoy it. Will Mr. Kaiser come round in the dead of night, drag me off, and leave me bound and gagged and listening to his sacred music compositions. I sincerely hope not.

The music sounds like a grown-up Elaine & Derek – a collection of sweet Christian tunes which all merge into one. I’ve always found that Christian music tends to err on the side of dull. Actually, there’s a challenge for you – are there any Christian music albums that won’t bore me to tears? A prize for anyone who can find one. Anyway, as I was saying, this album features 9 samey songs.

Ah, but I hear you cry, “but there are 10 songs on this album, surely”. Well, yes there are. Just as you think you can’t take any more sweetness, side two starts with ‘Sweet, Sweet Spirit’. This song has A COUNTRY TWANG. Not enough to be exciting or offensive, of course, but just enough to lift the tedium. It was at this point that I thought that this might yet have some saving grace – a sub-Carpenters kitsch that might just make this album worth something to me.

But it wasn’t to be.

All too quickly it sank back into the banal. I mean, yes, their voices are fine, the arrangements are a bit saccharine for my tastes and seem to my untrained ears to be somewhere between Andrew Lloyd Webber and Disney soundtracks. But it’s all soooooo bland.

There is however one very positive point about this album. It clocks in at just under 28 minutes. I tell you, I’ll never have that half hour back again, but I was far more in the mood after it to thank Wonderful, if only for not having made the album a double.

Tracks

Side 1

1. His Name Is Wonderful
2. Every Moment Of Every Day
3. He Lifted Me
4. When I Kneel Down To Pray
5. I Would Be Like Jesus

Side 2

1. Sweet, Sweet Spirit
2. His Gentle Look
3. Take Up Thy Cross
4. He Touched Me
5. Beyond The Sunset

Final score:

2 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Cambrian MCT 219
First Released: 1972

What The Album Blurb Says…

Maralene Powell made her first record as a solo artiste. Her second recording was in comapny with Gareth Edwards who for a brief moment exchanged the rugby field for the sound studio.

In this, her first album, Maralene presents a collection of songs which are as varied in subject as they are melodic in nature.

Family music at the fireside has been usurped in past decades by radio and television, but these technical wonders are now commonplace and making one’s own music is becoming a rediscovered pleasure. This is indeed a talented family for in this record Maralene is joined by her brother and sister, Aubrey and Denise and her brother in law – John. The quiet mid Wales valley of Pantydwr must often echo to their songs.

“Amazing Grace” cannot be too frequently recorded for each singer brings something new to the listener. The Gentlemen Songsters who join Maralene in this version with such effect are too well known to need introduction. “Morning has Broken” is an old melody which lingers in the mind long after the echoes have died away.

This is a collection of ballads and folk songs, some old and some new. “Love is Teasing” is from the distant past while “Deportee” underlines how cheaply human life is sometimes held in the modern world.

Together they are a collection without a theme – unless what ordinary people feel and experience is thematic. Maralene is already well known on record and in concert, but this is the first recording of the Four P’s and it must widen even further their circle of admirers.

What I Say

In light of the fact that the Taffs had a lucky victory on Saturday, I thought it only right we should look at one of their countryfolk for today’s outing. And so we have the lovely Maralene Powell, a farmer’s daughter from Pantydwr in Radnorshire. I’m not sure Radnorshire even exists any more, though there is a pub just a stone’s throw from here called the Radnorshire Arms. See, a little background colour for you there.

Although it’s ostensibly a Maralene album, the full title is Just For You – Maralene Powell and the Four P’s sing a selection of folk and country songs for your pleasure. And I thought Script For A Jester’s Tear was enough of a mouthful. These ‘Four P’s’ confuse me though. There’s a picture of them on the front, matching Salmon pink tops, flares armed and dangerous, and rolling Welsh landscape behind. And I think Maralene is one of the Four Ps. It certainly looks like her, and the sleeve notes refer to how Maralene is “joined by her brother and sister, Aubrey and Denise and her brother in law – John”. That makes three other people, Maralene being the fourth. So why is it Maralene AND the Four Ps. Surely it’s either ‘The Four Ps’ or ‘Maralene and the Three Ps’. Surely Maralene is being counted twice. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but this is exactly the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.

I’ve just noticed that on the back of the album it says it’s called ‘Maralene Powell with the Four “P’s” and the Gentlemen Songsters present a selection of Folk and Country songs for your pleasure.. Seems like everybody’s getting in on the credits. Good job they didn’t put that on the cover of the album, or there wouldn’t have been enough room for that lovely picture of Maralene looking foxy.

The songs are a bit of an odd mix. Understandably, given the nature of the Welsh, there are a few religious songs on here – ‘Tramp On The Street’ stood out for likening the treatment of Jesus to the death of an unloved Tramp. On The Street. A strange comparison to make, but at least I remembered it! Amazing Grace is handled well, and the Male Voice Choir, sorry, the ‘Gentlemen Songsters’ make sure you know this is a Welsh record. But the version of Morning Has Broken struck me as a little… off. The pianist and the guitarist seemed hesitant, and not quite sure when to come in to best compliment the vocals. It leads me to believe (though I may be completely wrong) that the song was recorded ‘live’ in the studio.

I do have a few concerns though with the choice of songs. We have an album created by someone with great potential and a good voice, but the songs just don’t seem to do Maralene justice.

Firstly, there is a tendency on this side of the Atlantic to believe that Country songs hold some meaning for us. They don’t. Really. It’s nice to listen to, and I’ve learned over the last few years to love Country music, but there is something so very wrong about a singer from North Wales telling me about her Louisiana home, and how the cotton crop has done this year. I’m not saying you have to stick to what you know and sing about daffodils and leeks, but there is only a certain degree of credulity I can muster, and it stops short of believing you’re a prairie flower.

What causes me more of a worry are the two songs that start side two – ‘Love Is Teasing’ and ‘I Will Never Marry’ – they both carry the same message, which is that men are feckless bastards who will get what they want from you, then cast you aside. You can’t trust them, so don’t waste your time on them. I shant comment further, only to suggest that maybe Maralene had one or two boyfriend issues at the time….? Mere speculation….

We also have a rendition of ‘Nobody’s Child’, a song last seen on Tony Best – By Request, and of such awful sludgy sentimentality that it makes me nauseous just to think about it. It’s a song about how the narrator goes to an orphanage and finds a blind boy who nobody wants (because he’s blind, obviously), and how said blind orphan believes he’d be better off dead because at least in Heaven he’d be able to see. This really is the most unpleasant song I think I’ve heard since No Charge. Yes, it’s really that bad.

The record is released on Cambrian Recordings, a label I hadn’t come across at all before, and one that has a strong Welsh pedigree, boasting Max Boyce and Mary Hopkin as signed artists.

Maralene’s voice is rather lovely. It has that pure, clean tone that was so favoured in folk circles in the 60s and 70s. That may however have been her downfall in that while the voice is technically good, it doesn’t ( to my ears at least) stand out above the other recording artists of the time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it – in fact, there’s a lot to commend it, but it lacks that distinctive edge that could elevate it into wider public recognition.

Equally, the album doesn’t have a focus – had it been an album of religious songs or an album of standards, it might have fared better, but it seems to lack identity as one or the other, and so ends up a bit of a hodge podge. That’s not to say I won’t be listening to it again. But you can be sure I’ll be skipping Nobody’s sodding Child.

Tracks

Side 1

(This is, by the way, the first album that I have ever seen that listed it’s tracks a, b, c.)

(a) Amazing Grace
(b) Morning Has Broken
(c) See That Little Boy
(d) Deportee
(e) There But For Fortune
(f) Tramp On The Street

Side 2

(a) Love Is Teasing
(b) I Never Will Marry
(c) Nine Hundred Miles
(d) Country Girl
(e) Cotton Fields
(f) Nobody’s Child

Final score:

6.75 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Parlophone PMC 1160
First Released: 1961

What The Album Blurb Says…

Fairly bursting with confidence and talent are Elaine and Derek Thompson, the thirteen-year-old twins from Belfast, who have been busy lately making a name for themselves with their records and television appearances.

Born on October 23, 1948, Derek is ten minutes older than Elaine – “and very proud of the fact,” says his mother. They both attend Belfast Modern School where everyone is very excited about their popularity and success: it appears that the only two calm people in the school are Elaine and Derek themselves!

“We’ve been singing since we were six years old,” says Elaine, who always takes charge of the situation, “at socials, parties and charity concerts, so I think this is why we don’t feel nervous about singing before large audiences and in recording studios. It’s Mum and Dad who suffer for us while we just get very excited. We don’t sing rock ‘n’ roll, but we enjoy listening to it – it amuses us. Gene Vincent is one of our favourite performers; we like the way he flings himself around the microphone on stage!”

At school the twins’ favourite subjects are French and algebra. They are not madly keen on sport, and all their spare time is taken up with singing. In fact they allow themselves little or no time to enjoy the hobbies and amusements that children usually like.

The twins were introduced to promoter Phil Raymond by a friend, when they were singing at a party one evening,. Raymond liked their voices and within a short time he booked them to appear at the Belfast Opera House with Gene Vincent and Emile Ford.

Recording manager Norman Newell was told about tht twins and flew to Belfast to hear them, with the result that they travelled to London and the E.M.I. studios to record their first disc for Parlophone Records – One Little Robin and Brahms’ Lullaby (45-R4783). This proved so popular that before long they returned to cut another single – Bluebird, coupled with Wooden Heart (45-R4829) – and this delightful LP of twelve children’s hymns, to the sensitive accompaniment of Michael Collins and his Orchestra.

What I Say

Hmmmm…. this album is rather like an onion. It has so many layers, and there’s something new to discover underneath, but all the layers are really the same, and it makes me cry when you cut it up, and it makes a delicious base for most savoury meals. OK, so I didn’t think out my metaphor very well before I started, but this album holds a few surprises, which aren’t at first apparent.

For example, as is my practice, I chose the album on the qualities of its cover alone. Although first released in 1961, the influence of the 50s is still clear to see, from the typeface used on their names, to the formal outfits and hairdos of the twins. Dereks frilly fronted shirt and hand-made slacks (see, always the slacks) provide a formal accompaniment to his sisters frilly, fussy party dress with faux-pearl buttons and sewn on corsage.

What I didn’t know when I picked up the album is that this is full of Children’s hymns. Twelve songs that are supposed to uplift and convince children of the glory of god. But is it really aimed for children? I have a sneaking suspicion that the market for this kind of album is the grannies of this world. I have a clear image of a grey haired granny settling down in her favourite armchair to listen to ‘those wonderful Irish children’ sing about Jesus. And it must’ve been a comfort, for in 1961 when this record was released, rock ‘n’ roll was shaking the foundations, but just so long as teenagers were singing about Jesus and not girls and cars, then there was hope for the future.

And this album has been well loved. Unlike most of the records that I pick up which are in pristine condition, this is worn and scratched, with jumps, pops and hisses all over it. Someone has played this album over and over again. Either that, or they hated it so much they’ve used it as a dinner plate…. but I’m sticking with my doting Granny theory.

I’m also surprised at how happy they both seem to be. If you’d asked me at thirteen to stand next to my sister to have my photo taken, let alone smile, or – horror of horrors – touch her, I would have sulked and made the most unattractive of photographs. But here we have true professionals. They both look happy, relaxed, almost like they like each other. That’s not normal in a teenager, is it?

Now, I know in my review of The Kaye Family that I suggested that there was something weird about families playing together, (although I did qualify that about it being weird across the generations), but there is one clear benefit of families singing together. I’ve heard it suggested that the reason why the Beach Boys, the Proclaimers and the Bee Gees do harmony so well, is because that they have similar physical vocal structures, as well as similar accents and similar tonality to their voices. Because they’ve grown up in the same environment, their voices sound very similar, and you end up with harmony not just of notes, but also of tone. (I am of course bluffing here, but don’t tell anyone…) The same applies here – the songs sound sweet because the two voices compliment each other very well.

That’s another thing. In a world where we are so used to our child stars being brash to the point of obnoxious, precocious and schmaltzy, the gentle sweetness of these two is quite refreshing. It’s not my kind of music at all, either in subject matter or musical style, but there is something very calming and gentle about the way they sing together which is unexpectedly lovely.

Derek tends to sing the lower parts (unsurprisingly) with a fairly linear melody, while Elaine tackles the more complex melody lines. It’s a traditional arrangement, but it works here. The songs I’ve picked for the clips are all much of a much – I just chose the ones I knew – there isn’t a great amount of variety in this album, it must be said.

I wonder how annoyed Derek was though, that although he is chronologically and alphabetically first, that his name came second in the billing. That must’ve hurt, though it does say clearly on the sleeve notes that Elaine is in charge. I wonder if she made that business decision.

But who’s laughing now, eh? For while Elaine has subsided into obscurity (I say that like I know – for all I know, Elaine could be a major star under another name….) Derek, the mighty Derek of Elaine and Derek grew up to be one of England’s favourite TV stars.

Yes, this was the biggest surprise that this album yielded for me. When I started doing my ‘research’ (assuming a bit of googling can be counted as research) for this album, I discovered that this album’s Derek is none other than…..

Charlie Fairhead off of Casualty. It really is. Look…. proof and everything.

HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT.

Tracks

Side 1

1. There’s A Friend For Little Children
2. O What Can Little Hands Do
3. When Mother Of Salem
4.How Great Thou Art
5. Standing Somewhere In Life’s Shadows
6.Jesus Loves Me

Side 2

1. Gentle Jesus Meek And Mild
2. Stranger Of Galilee
3.I Am So Glad That Jesus Loves Me
4. Who Is He In Yonder Stall
5. Jesus Tender Shepherd
6.Nearer My God To Thee

Final score:

7 out of 10

So, I finally got around to reading my copy of ‘Merla’s Miracle’ which some lovely person on Amazon sold to me for a ridiculously cheap price. With all the sense of moment that I could muster, I opened the cover (featuring the grisly, gruesome and graphic photo of Merla’s mangled mitt), and found this…

Isn’t that the most wonderful thing you’ve seen today? OK, probably not actually, but look. There. A proper, signed by the author autograph. Merla has touched this book. She has written in it (with her good hand, of course…) and now it’s mine, all mine.

Am I the luckiest man alive?

Label / Cat. No: Sacred SAC 5064
First Released: 1972

What The Album Blurb Says…

SOUNDS OF FRESH WATERS are exciting new sounds from Merv and Merla Watson, two remarkable musicians, well-trained and refreshingly creative. The music from this husband-wife team is a rare find in its up-to-date lyrics and original sounds that communicates with any audience.

Merv and Merla are not like some folk singers you’ve heard. They have a different drive, an unusual commitment to their music and its message. The songs they sing are a part of them, for they have spent many long hours in composing, scoring, searching for the right words to please their audiences across their native Canada and the United States.

Merla is accomplished as a vocalist, pianist and violist. In 1962 she toured the Middle East as soloist with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation concert party entertaining U.N. troops. Merv, outstanding with the guitar and accordion, is a graduate of the University of Toronto and has taught music in the Toronto schools. Together the two originated the idea of the Schoolhouse Concerts in Toronto to stimulate interest in the performing arts as a means of Christian witnessing.

The concert series met with immediate success, as did Merv and Merla, as they sang their own folk music at each concert. Recognition for the two came quickly and they began touring with their folk-gospel music, receiving acclaim for their ability. Audiences everywhere responded enthusiastically to their music that moves naturally, uninhibited by tradition or boundaries.

This album is their finest work, sounds and feelings that are jubilant, some haunting in the contemplation of God, others crystal clear in lyric, all fresh and new, a symbol of their faith.

What I Say

I don’t think I’ve ever met or known of anyone called Merla. To my 30something English ears, there’s a certain exotic ring to the name. It conjures up 1950’s mid-west diners, gingham and bitter coffee. For all I know, it could have the same connotations as ‘Doris’ or ‘Mabel’ over here, but there is a certain glamour I can’t help but imagine.

The picture of Merla in a very 1972 dress with her racy gold shoes does nothing to dim my excitement. The only thing that can do that is to listen to the album.

I know that the job of the album blurb is to sell the album to the casual record browser, but you can’t help but wonder how they can promise so much and yet deliver so little. In the case of Merv and Merla, I had considered a line by line breakdown of their claims against the reality, but I can feel a rant coming on, and would need a couple of aspirin and a good long lie-down if I went down that route.

But there are four key issues that I think do need to be addressed:-

1. The up-to-date lyrics reflect a two-millenia old system of religious beliefs. Not the most up-to-date now, is it?
2. Communicates with any audience? Surely that’s the point of an audience, or am I missing something here?
3. Merla is “accomplished as a vocalist, pianist and violist”. So why picture her on the album cover holding a guitar, an instrument which you seem to be saying she wields with all the grace of a lump-hammer?
4. Merv is a graduate of the University of Toronto is he? In what subject? Zoology? Physics? What?

One other thing that bugs me is that poor Merla is relegated into second billing, even though alphabetically her name comes first, just. Is poor Merla just another victim of the misogyny of patriarchal society, or does ‘Merv and Merla’ just sound better than ‘Merla and Merv’? You decide.

The music itself is an odd blend. The album starts with a guitar sounding like a harpsichord, which leads into liturgical-influenced melody. It seems to be tripping over itself, but never quite falls.

At times this album conjured up 1960s Leonard Cohen (that’ll be the folk element then), and at other times, it reminded me of the soundtrack from ‘Hair’ (though being Christians, I kind of doubt that Merv and Merla would be cavorting naked, covered in body paint during their “Schoolhouse Concerts”.) Some of it was quite Jewish in its influences, and it was only subsequently that I found out that Merv and Merla now reside in Israel.

There’s talk on that site of ‘Merla’s Miracle’, a book detailing how Merla defied the surgeon’s predictions after a ‘bizarre’ accident where a piano crushed her hand, and in fact did play professionally again. You will of course be pleased to know that in the cause of furthering my knowledge of the artists I present to you here, I have tracked down and purchased a copy of ‘Merla’s Miracle’, and I will of course let you know in due course what the book’s like.

The most bizarre track however is ‘The Time of The Singing Of The Birds’ in which Merv and Merla whoop, holler and tweet like a pair of demented magpies. Sadly this track jumps on my copy, meaning I can’t present it in it’s fullness. But thanks to the wonder and diversity of YouTube, I found that someone had used it to enhance some video of some birds.

So ladies and gentlemen, kick back, relax, and enjoy the freakish sound of Merv and Merla.

Tracks

Side 1

1.O Sing A New Song
2. Consider Him
3.The Time Of The Singing Of The Birds
4. Miracles
5.Hear My Prayer
6.Just Before Midnight

Side 2

1. I Will Sing
2. The Lord Is My Shepherd
3.It’s Gotta Be Great
4. In The Night
5. The Seed Of Joy
6. Grace Be To You And You

Final score:

5.75 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Telstar STAR 2293
First Released: 1986

What The Album Blurb Says…

None, sadly. I’ve never thought about why or when the sales pitch on the back of record sleeves declined, but I doubt you’d find many from about 1983 onwards. Are we too knowing now to be swayed by hyperbole from paid critics? Is music so compartmentalised into tiny sub-divisions of genre that we can’t just buy a ‘jazz’ album or a ‘swing’ album, and have a fair chance of enjoying it?

Or was it simply that people got wise to the fact that the glowing praise plastered across the back of almost every album bore little or no relation to the contents of the disc?

Maybe my new year resolution should be to form a pressure group to advocate the reinstatement of album blurb.

Or maybe not.

What I Say

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I had really wanted to enjoy this album. After all, I do have a real affection for Chas & Dave. And Christmas. I quite like Christmas too. Put them together, and you should have a winner, and yet this combination is so much less than the sum of its parts.

As far as I can make out, there are three elements that should make up this record. The Cockney musical stylings of Messrs Charles and David, the traditional brass ensemble of the Cambridge Heath Salvation Army Band, and a number of good old fashioned carols. Put them together in any combination and you’re onto a sure fire, 24-carat gold winner. Surely there can be no doubt, and yet…

This is probably best explained through the medium of the Venn diagram. Allow me, if you will…

What saddens me is that this is a missed opportunity, a fudge if you will. Chas & Dave are (despite initial impressions) talented musicians. After all, Chas was taught to play piano by Jerry Lee Lewis. They’ve been sampled by Eminem, and covered by Tori Amos on more than one occasion. These boys have the potential to compete at a world-class standard. Their ‘Cockney Rock’ or ‘Rockney’ as I believe they call it, is a distinct style which deserves its place in the English Folk-Music pantheon.

But this isn’t a ‘Rockney’ album. It’s a Salvation Army album with a bit of Dave’s Bass Guitar over the top of traditional brass band arrangements, and a bit of pub-rock drumming for good measure. Nothing more.

I suppose that Chas & Dave fans would buy the album because it’s got Chas & Dave on it, and Salvation Army fanatics (of which I’m sure there must be a few, though I wouldn’t like to imagine Salvation Army Band groupies) won’t be too alarmed by what is a fairly traditional Carol with Chas Hodges gruff vocals replacing those of the more traditional angelic choirboy. If it came to punch up, my money would be on Chas & Dave over Aled Jones any day.

This is not to say that there isn’t some value in this album. Firstly, I’m intrigued by the cartoon character cover. This isn’t the only Chas & Dave album that’s been done in cartoon style. Was this part of a mid-80s ploy to try and create a Chas & Dave animated series? Can you imagine how redundant the Simpson’s would have been had we been graced with ‘The Adventures of Chas & Dave’? It’s not too late, people. Together we can make this happen.

And there are moments of sheer oddity – Chas & Dave, the beer-swilling terrors of the East End singing medieval yuletide songs? Listen to Coventry Carol, and you’ll see what I mean – we’re only short of a couple of ‘Hey Nonny Nonnies’ and we’d be laughing. And that gives me an idea. ‘The Time Travelling Adventures of Chas & Dave’. It would be like Dr. Who, but with a pair of lovable Cockneys, solving problems through time and space with a knees-up round the old joanna. Really. Write to the BBC and demand that your license fee is used to commission this programme.

And just once or twice you can tell the boys are just itching to bash the piano keys and stomp their feet. The bass gets a bit more twitchy, Chas’ vocals start to run away with him, but we never quite achieve the breakthrough. The first part of ‘Good Christian Men Rejoice’ is pure Chas & Dave, and it works precisely because the Salvation Army keep their horns shut. When they do come in, they’re so low in the mix, I can’t help but wonder if the sound engineer on this album shared my misgivings. I was waiting for ‘The Rocking Carol’ to really see the boys let their hair down, but sadly it’s just a Carol with the refrain ‘We will rock you, rock you, rock you’ referring to the baby Jesus, rather than in a Queen way.

But my favourite part of the whole album is the very last song, ‘We Three Kings’. During the introduction, I’m pretty sure the drummer is so distracted, that he’s actually playing ‘Delilah’ by Tom Jones. Listen to it – you’ll see exactly what I mean. But it’s a shame I had to listen through 21 poor songs to find that gem.

So, a missed opportunity all round. Sad, but probably predictable. Which pretty much sums me up too!

And as an extra treat (and by way of an education to my overseas readers who probably don’t have the first clue what I’m blithering about), please find below a master-class in the Cockney style of music. Merry Christmas Everyone.

Tracks

Side 1

1. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
2. Unto Us A Child Is Born
3. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks
4. Long Long Ago
5. Good King Wenceslas Looked Out
6. Coventry Carol
7. Wassail Song
8. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
9. Hark The Herald Angels Sing
10. Good Christian Men Rejoice

11. Silent Night

Side 2

1. O Come All Ye Faithful
2. See Amid The Winter Snow
3. Yes Jesus Loves Me
4. It Came Upon The Midnight Clear
5. The Rocking Carol
6. In The Bleak Midwinter
7. The First Noel
8. Once In Royal David City
9. Away In A Manger
10. We Three Kings

Final score:

4 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: World Wide Recordings BG 2932
First Released: 1970

What The Album Blurb Says…

On July 7, 1967, Billy Graham crossed the Yugoslav border above Trieste, en route to his first public meetings in Eastern Europe. We well remember the enthusiastic reception he received in Zagreb. During his EURO 70 Crusade, the evangelist “returned” to the same city when it joined 35 others to be linked with Dortmund’s Westfalenhalle, in Europe’s largest ever, closed circuit TV network.

Although Mr. Graham has not yet visited Czechoslovakia, members of the team have taken his personal greetings to Christians there. They have confirmed my own conviction that God’s people in Eastern Europe can be more closely identified with those described in the Book of Acts than any others we have seen.

This record, introduced by Cliff Barrows leading congregational singing in Prague, captures something of the victorious spirit of these our fellow members of the Body of Christ. It is presented with the hope that it will encourage Western Christians to pray for them, as they pray for us, and thus strengthen the ties which bind our hearts in Christian love.

Dave Foster, Eurovangelism

What I Say

What an oddity we have to mark the “long-awaited” return of , a 1970 souvenir of Billy Graham’s tour to Europe. I have to admit something of a vested interest here, in that in 1984 I saw Billy at Ipswich Town Football Stadium where his doom mongering, predictions of an imminent nuclear war and obvious showmanship had the opposite effect on me than that intended.

For me, the most striking thing about this record is that half of the front cover is taken up with the stark warning “Phongraphic RECORD – DO NOT DROP OR CRUSH. KEEP AWAY FROM EXCESSIVE HEAT”. I’m not sure if Mr. Graham’s records are more prone to being dropped or crushed, but by 1970 I’m pretty sure most people with phonographic reproduction equipment were pretty au fait with vinyl handling techniques. I’m tempted to analyse further, but good taste and decency prevents me…

Anyway, first thing to note is that this ‘Billy Graham’ album contains no actual Billy Graham. Not a bit of it. The spoken introduction and final prayer are from his ‘music and program director’, Cliff Barrows. While I’ve got nothing against Cliff (well, apart from the fact that he made a film with Cliff Richard which would prejudice you against most people), you buy a Billy Graham album, you expect a bit of Billy action. I’m tempted to complain of false advertising here…

Cliff’s proselytizing bookends the musical content of the album, Christian music sung by a variety of Eastern European choirs and organisations. There’s some diversity here, from the almost but not quite Welsh stylings of the Prague Male Voice Choir, to the instrumental pieces which sound like the soundtrack to a piece of avant-garde Soviet animation.

However, my clear favourite by a country mile is the Bratislava Youth Ensemble. While the rest of the album provides foreign language versions of Western favourites or tunes embedded in Romantic folk, the Youth Ensemble are giving it large in a very 1970s Eastern European understated way. The songs are just that little bit more chirpy than the Wesleyan sounding hymns, and there’s the acoustic guitar, so beloved on Christian Youth Groups. During ‘Mary Magdalene’, there’s even a bass guitar, and you can tell that the bassist is just itching for an excuse to burst into ‘Jazz Oddysey’. Thirty seven years on, their exciting, youthful glee sounds like every other progressive Christian Youth Group of the last couple of generations, only in Slovak.

The rest of the album is…. curious. It’s like trying to watch ‘The Weakest Link’ in a language you don’t understand. You understand the format and the mechanics, but lack the comprehension. I have the tune of ‘What a Friend We Have In Jesus’ ingrained on my memory from years of Sunday School, but the novelty here is that it’s in Czech. Almost like a cover version. Which reminds me, I have an excellent version of ‘William, It Was Really Nothing’ by the Smiths sung in German. Nothing to do with Billy Graham, but then again, nor has this album really.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Greetings and congregational singing of Blessed Assurance (Cliff Barrows and congregation of Baptist Church, Prague)
2. Jerusalem The Golden (Baptist Choir, Bratislava) Slovak
3. His Eye Is On The Sparrow (Rumanian solo)
4. The Head That Once Was Crowned With Thorns (Male Voice Choir, Prague)
5. Mary Magdalene (Youth Ensemble, Bratislava) Slovak
6. Wonderful Name Of Jesus (Euro 70 Choir, Dortmund) German
7. Doxology (Male Voice Choir, Prague) Czech

Side 2

1. What A Friend We Have In Jesus (Male Voice Choir, Prague) Czech
2. Roll Jordan Roll (in English) (Male Voice Choir, Prague) Czech
3. This Little Light Of Mine (Unique Instrumental Duet) Czech
4. What Is He To You? (Youth Ensemble, Bratislava) Slovak
5. Surely Goodness And Mercy (Baptist Choir, Zagreb) Yugoslavia
6. Just As I Am (with final prayer by Cliff Barrows) (Baptist Choir, Bratislava) Slovak

Final score:

3 out of 10 for incomprehensible (to me) cover versions..

Label / Cat. No: World Record Club T877
First Released: Unknown – Probably Early 60s at latest

What The Album Blurb Says…

A man of the cloth seldom is able to take up a second occupation, yet it was as a singer, even more than as a Roman Catholic Priest that Father Sydney MacEwan was renowned. A Glaswegian born and bred, Father MacEwan studied at Glasgow University and at the Royal Academy of Music. This was followed by ecclesiastical training at the Pontifical Gregorian University, Rome.

On returning to Scotland he discovered that his fine tenor voice so suited to the fine ballads of the Highlands of Scotland, attracted the friendship and enthusiasm of John McCormack, the celebrated irish singer, himself a possessor of a Vatican awarded title – “Count”.

MacEwan, while specialising in Irish and Scottish folksong, also sang and recorded classical, and semi-classical art songs and took this repertoire to Canada, USA and Australia on special leave from his post, attached to Glasgow’s St. Andrews Cathedral.

This collection of songs presents a cross section of Father Sydney MacEwan’s favourite songs – from Scottish ballads to Stephen Foster and Handel.

What I Say

There is a theory that states that those of us unfortunate enough to spend the afterlife in the hot place with the guys with the pointy sticks, will find ourselves subjected to an incalculably malicious form of eternal torture, tailor made to draw out your own, personal nightmares. I had assumed that if such a place exists (and thankfully, I seriously doubt it…) I would end up spending all eternity melded, conjoined twin style, to a Roman Catholic priest.

However, on listening to this album, I have revised my opinion to suggest that my own personal hell would be to spend all eternity melded, conjoined twin style, to this Roman Catholic priest.

But it was the very priestly nature of the man that drew me to this album in the first place. Perhaps I should explain, but when selecting which albums to review, I take absolutely no notice of conventional wisdom, and judge the contents almost exclusively by the cover. The more creepy, dated, ugly, posed, vulgar or bizarre the album is, the more likely I am to pick it up and give it a whirl. My decision is probably 90% based on how much the cover made me laugh. Or squirm. Or vomit.

But sometimes, it’s the concept that sells it. I defy anyone who comes across an album called ‘Father Sydney MacEwan Sings Some Of His Favourites’ to pass it by without a second glance. It can’t be done. You have to know. And then you get sucked in, and find that you’re paying hard cash to take this delight away with you, to take it home, to play it….

I’m constantly amazed at what good condition these records are in. They’ve obviously been kicking around for 40 or 50 years, and yet they generally seem to be scratch free and in nearly mint condition. People have cherished these albums, and I wouldn’t be surprised if each and every one had a prized place in someone’s collection, only to be dumped, wholesale down the charity shop when they died. Somebody, sometime in the past was so enamoured with Father Sydney MacEwan (or at least his voice – having searched on the internet, he wasn’t much to look at) that they went and bought this album.

And it’s shite. Really. Dreadful, dreadful shite. I don’t even care that he’s a Roman Catholic priest. I wouldn’t buy this if it were recorded by my mate Dave. It’s just awful.

In the interests of fairness, I should probably qualify this. I’m sure that technically his voice is wonderful, and again, from what I found on this wonderful internet of ours, he was a fairly harsh self critic, and stopped recording aged 50 when his voice had “lost its bloom”.

I can only assume then, that he made this album when he was 70.

I like to think I have fairly catholic tastes (see what I did there) when it comes to music. I’ll listen to pretty much anything and try and find some merit. But this really isn’t my kind of music. Maudlin old Scots singing maudlin Scottish songs in a warbly tenor? Just doesn’t push my buttons I’m afraid. He sounds to my uneducated ears like the guy who sits in the corner of the pub, nursing his whisky, and sings, unbidden, at the end of every Saturday night in the hope that one of the regulars will buy him a drink.

But at least that guys got passion. These songs are delivered in a manner so devoid of emotion that I wonder if they really were his favourites. I mean, I have no singing voice. Really. I tend to sing through my nose (which is a good trick if you can pull it off (the trick, not the nose that is)), so I shouldn’t be criticizing others. However….. when I sing some of my favourites, I give them my all. Passion, vigour, showmanship, the works. I can’t picture old Sydney even bothering to stand up to sing.

And the arrangements of the songs? It’s either Father Sydney and a lone guitarist or Father Sydney and a lone pianist. Not a banjo in sight which, after last week, is a bit of a disappointment. There’s just not enough variation to make this interesting.

But, the biggest disappointment, the cruelest blow, is that “I Dream of Jeannie” was not the theme from the TV show of the same name, but some dirge about a girl he once loved (yeah, right) with light brown hair who looks like a zephyr or something.

In short, avoid. Really.

TracksSide 1
Beautiful Dreamer
I Dream Of Jeannie
In Summertime On Bredon
Ye Banks And Braes
Home Sweet Home
Silent WorshipSide 2

Where E’er You Walk
Kashmiri Song
Little Boy Blue
Gentle Annie
Maiden Of Morven
In Praise Of Islay

Final Score

1 out of 10 – Just for suckering me in with the promise of ‘I Dream Of Jeannie’. Doo do do doo de doo do, doo do do doo de doo do…..

I also think I should be congratulated on not making a quip about John McCormack’s Vatican awarded title.