Label / Cat. No: A&M Records SP-4775
First Released: 1979

What The Album Blurb Says…

Special thanks to Kip for having such a good idea; to Kip and Herb for bringing me into it; to Juliea for all the help along the way; to everyone at A&M for keeping it such a good place to work/play; and a very special thanks to Ms. Merman. If it weren t for her great talent, dedication to “the work to be done,” sense of humor, love of life, generosity and the ability to give of herself…well then, most of us wouldn’t want to do another hundred records, T.V. shows, state fairs, etc… with her.

Thanks, Ethel, for the continuing reminders of what it’s all about…

Love, Peter Matz

“For decades Ethel Merman has been the heart and soul of the American Musical Theatre. Hearing this album, I’m convinced that this Disco Diva may be taking a whole new career! Not only are these songs among the world’s favorites, but the sheer joy of Merman’s voice makes me want to get up and dance. Bless you for boogeying, Ethel, you’re hot as a pistol!”

Paul Jabara

“P.S. When are you going to sing one of my tunes?!”

What I Say

Back in the late 80s I was a big fan of Whose Line Is It Anyway, the ‘comedy’ improvisation show. (I put ‘comedy’ in speech marks because, seeing it again recently on re-runs, I realised just how pedestrian it really was). Often the show would end with a game called ‘Party Quirks’ – one of the ensemble would play the part of a party host, and his guests all had idiosyncrasies which the host had to guess. The guests of course couldn’t just walk in and say ‘I’m a Mexican Astronaut’ because that would just be too easy, and not make for very interesting television. Despite having been quite a big fan, the only thing I remember is one round of party quirks where someone had to demonstrate that they communicated with the dead. At one point he sang ‘I hear voices and there’s no-one there’, to which the host (on that occasion Tony Slattery) replied, “Oh! He thinks he’s Ethel Merman”. e.t.a. – I’ve since been informed that Tony Slattery was quoting ‘Airplane!’, which makes sense.

And that, gentle reader, was the sum total of my knowledge of Ethel Merman until now. Or at least, I thought it was. Having listened to this album, I realise that although I may never have seen or heard Ethel directly (see, we’re on first name terms already), I have heard her parodied a thousand times. On all those American sit-coms when somebody ‘amusingly’ bursts into song, or takes on a big dramatic number, the voice that they’re impersonating is Ethel’s. You don’t believe me? Just listen to the how she pronounces ‘know’ in ‘like no-business I know’, and you will have an instant pang of recognition.

It seems that our Ethel is a comedic cliché, the distinctive voice of American Musical Theatre, a vocal shorthand to all that is glamorous and over-the-top in Broadway. I’d say she was the American Elaine Paige but that seems unfair. At least Ethel seems to have some charisma…

But if Ethel herself is a cliché, then what can I say about this album? In 1979 when Disco still seemed newish and exciting, this may have been a truly revolutionary album. When worlds collide. The old and the new. But now it just seems like a bunch of old standards with an uninspired disco backing added on afterwards. It’s kind of telling that Ethel came into the studio and did her normal renditions of the songs in a single take. There’s no integration or fusion here, and the two layers seem to operate independently of each other. You have some lively old songs, and some non-descript Disco instrumentals, but the total is substantially less than the sum of its parts.

Ethel’s voice sounds… strong for a 71 year old, but I can’t say it’s exactly to my tastes. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with this album, other than it should never have been made. Ethel worked in Musical Theatre, not Studio 54, and it just seems to tarnish what was otherwise a pretty heady career. I say shame on the producers who clearly wanted to make a fast buck on the back of the Disco phenomena by trying to appeal to two separate markets to try and double their profits. The cads.

It’s worth reading the ‘About This Video’ section on this YouTube offering to give another insight into opinions of this album. Unapologetic. Shocking. But honest about this album’s place in the Disco pantheon.

As a final point, I should probably point out that this barely falls into the category of ‘Forgotten Albums’. After all, this was rereleased as a CD, and apparently has quite a cult following. It even has its own Wikipedia Page. So, can I call it a Forgotten Album? Well, it was in a cardboard box, under a table, in a corner of a charity shop sited in a Livestock Market in Hereford. I’d therefore say pretty much, Yes. I also think, having forced myself to listen to the whole bloody thing that it really should have stayed forgotten.

Doing it right:-

Tracks

Side 1

1. There’s No Business Like Show Business
2. Everything’s Coming Up Roses
3. I Get A Kick Out Of You

Side 2

1. Something For The Boys
2. Some People
3. Alexander’s Ragtime Band
4. I Got Rhythm

Final score:

2 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Starline SRS 5134
First Released: Unknown – possibly early 70s

What The Album Blurb Says…

Robert Wilson was born in a Glasgow suburb in 1909 and from a very early age had the burning ambition to become a singer.

He first broke into the entertainment world when he bacame a memeber of a concert party at Rothsay, on the Isle of Bute. While savouring the applause that these rather small beginnings brought him, he had the good sense to realise that he needed years of study and hard work to reach the top of his chosen profession. To this end he joined and stayed with the D’Oyly Carte Opera Company for several years, touring America, Canada and Great Britiain, and from this he gained vast experience which was most valuable to his future career. In 1939 he decided that the time had come for him to enter the Variety scene as a solo artist – and how right his judgement proved to be. What with his magnificent voice, charming personality and superb stage presentation his success was almost immediate, and he soon became ‘top of the bill’ wherever he appeared. Not only was he starred in every medium of the entertainment world, but he was particularly acclaimed by exiled Scots both near and far who, like those in the Homeland, saw in his grand voice and fine physique the very embodiment of a true son of Scotland. No one wore the Kilt more proudly or better than he.

Much to the regret of all who heard him, Bob Wilson, as he was affectionately known to his many friends, died in 1964, but there remains a wealth of those great Scottish songs which he recorded during his lifetime and for which we have received many requests. The fourteen songs presented in this album illustrate why his was generally acclaimed to be “The voice of Scotland”.

T.D.

What I Say

There’s one thing that the Scots are very good at. Actually, before I get myself into trouble, I should point out that I’m sure that there are lots of things that Scots are good at. Lots and lots. Really. But one area in which they excel is being Scottish. I mean proper, professionally Scottish. How many ‘professional’ Welsh or Irish people can you think of? Max Boyce, Daniel O’Donnel, Terry Wogan maybe… People for whom one of their distinguishing features is their nationality. OK, now think of professional English people. I’ll give you Steven Fry, and I’ll accept David Niven, even though he’s dead. Any more…? No, see. And yet without putting any real effort into it, the Scots can proudly boast The Proclaimers, Billy Connolly, Moira Anderson, Harry Lauder, Sean Connery, Carol Smillie, and of course, the Krankies. OK, that may be stretching the definition of ‘proudly boast’, but I hope you get my point.

They say that the most Scottish part of Scotland is just over the border from England, where the difference between countries is clearly marked. Tartan and Saltires everywhere. It seems that the Scots have a very clear cultural identity, and the business nous to translate that into profitable entertainment. Our Robert Wilson (or Bob, as we must call him) falls strictly into this ‘Professionally Scottish’ category. You only have to look at the album cover to know what you’re getting. A burly man in a skirt, sorry, a kilt, his face red from the harsh highland wind rolling off the moors and the whisky he has on his porridge. His pose is also extremely Scottish, though I can’t quite figure out why. I assume it’s meant to reflect Bob about to launch into a Highland Fling – right hand tucked in his belt, left knee slightly raised. Tunic and tie making him look like a policeman about to knee some poor suspect in the knackers. Delightful.

And the songs don’t disappoint. Well, they do if you don’t like maudlin songs about your wet, dour homeland, but let’s assume for a moment that they’re the very reason you bought this album. The choice of songs is absolutely perfect. It’s ‘The Greatest Scottish Songs In The Whole World Ever’ for our parent’s generation. Some of the arrangements however are… well, on the camp side of traditional, shall we say. When I first listened to ‘Scotland The Brave’ (which you’d expect to be the standout track here), I was transported back to a Saturday evening in the 70s, with the Two Ronnies about to do their musical number dressed as a pair of Highland Infantrymen making suggestive songs about Gay Gordons. The arrangement is pure Ronnie Hazlehurst. Actaully, it is the standout track on the album, because it’s the only one that sounds vaguely happy or interesting. The rest conjure up a wet Wednesday in Aberdeen with incredibly clarity.

The problem is that I don’t think Bob sings very well. His voice, described elsewhere on this internet of ours as a ‘rich baritone’ sounds to my uneducated ears as a thin, weedy and reedy baritone. That doesn’t even always hold the tune particularly well. This album was released after he’d died. I have to wonder if it was also recorded then too….

This man was called ‘The Voice Of Scotland’ which is a bit worrying. I could accept ‘The Voice of Arbroath’ which would allow for bigger and better voices to represent the nation. So don’t judge the Scots too harshly. Though I do wonder who’s the ‘Ears of Scotland’.

However, I do have one small niggle. From 1997 to 1999 I lived in Galway, and I’m sure, absolutely positive that it was on the West Coast of Ireland, and not in Scotland. It seems therefore that this song is an IMPOSTER, and should be removed immediately. Unless they’re playing the Celtic card, in which case of course, everything is fair game.

By the way, our Bob Wilson, is not this Bob Wilson, one time goalie for Arsenal…

Nor is he this Bob Wilson, who’s an English Lecturer, and posessor of one of the finest hair confections known to man…

And this is the Krankies. I think the Scottish Government should apologies immediately.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Westering Home
2. Scotland The Brave
4. Down In The Glen
5. Bonnie Mary Of Argyle
6. Marchin’ Thru’ The Glen
7. The Black Watch

Side 2

1. The Gay Gordons
2. The Road To The Isles
3. Hills O’ The Clyde
4. Galway Bay
5. My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose
6. The Gathering Of The Clans
7. My Scottish Homeland.

Final score:

4 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Hallmark CHM 624
First Released: 1969

What The Album Blurb Says…

For those of you who are as yet unacquainted with the happy looking gentleman on the right, permit us to introduce you to Mr. Bob Blaine

Early biographical details can be found on the sleeve of his previous album ‘BOB BLAINE SINGS COUNTRY MUSIC FOR BEDTIME’ – Hallmark HM. 581. Suffice it therefore for us to say that he hails from Liverpool, has had years of experience with many name bands, and, as you will discover, he is a very fine singer.

Bob is considered by many people in the music business to be a walking encyclopeadia on standard songs and for this album he has personally selected the best, and most romantic of the songs of the Islands and just for good measure has thrown in three brand new ones that he wrote himself, including the title song ‘HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON.’

So if you want to escape the weather, the tax man, or anything else that bothers you, may we suggest you get the album, go home, slice a pineapple, light a sunlamp, turn on the record player, sit in your favourite chair, play the record, close your eyes and you’re off to Hawaii – Bon Voyage.

DON TODD

What I Say

Last time I admitted my ignorance regarding national musical exports, I managed to (quite understandably) ruffle a few Canadian feathers. As I pointed out at the time, any nation that gives us Celine Dion should surely face international sanctions. Anyway, I confess an equal lack of knowledge on the musical history of Hawaii, and shan’t compound my ignorance with ill-informed commentary…..

Oh, who am I kidding. That’s my stock-in-trade – ill informed opinion based on incomplete facts and minimal research. So, what do I know about Hawaiian music? Well, there’s the Ukelele, which isn’t what George Formby played (that was a hybrid between a ukelele and a banjo, and was quite seriously known as a banjolele. See, I do know some things….) Beyond that, I get stuck, although I did like that Israel Kamakawiwo’ole song they used in that advert.

And, er…. that’s about it I think. Except to say, I really don’t think that what we’re presented here bears much relation to real Hawaiian music. Not least because it’s been recorded by some Scouser who’s probably never been further west than Llandudno. To my uneducated ears, it sounds like a series of slow tempo Country Music songs with a bit of ukelele and slide guitar stuck in the mix for good measure. I’m prepared to accept that this might be the genuine Hawaiian sound, but I seriously doubt it.

The songs really do all sound the same – same tempo, same arrangements, more or less the same melody, with just a couple of exceptions. “Black Is The Colour Of My True Loves Hair”, despite sounding like a Donovan lyric is quite a dark, moody piece, clearly showing the harder side of our Scally Bob.

The second slightly odd song on an album called Hawaiian Honeymoon is ‘Flower of Tahiti’. I had to go and check on Google Earth, but I’m right. Tahiti really isn’t anywhere near Hawaii. But hey, those South Sea Islands are all the same, aren’t they….?

In 1969 Merseyside, Hawaii, and indeed Tahiti, must’ve seemed endlessly exotic, and they were therefore prepared to accept any old tat with a Hawaiian tag just to get themselves a taste of the islands. But knowledge of other cultures was a little more…. basic than perhaps it is today (anybody for My Boomerang Won’t Come Back? Anybody….). I’m sure the English record buying public were prepared to believe that this light country froth really was the sound of the islands.

And clearly Hawaii is synonymous with romance, lust and dusky maidens if the cover’s anything to go buy. Despite the title track being about the romance and special nature of taking your new bride to Hawaii, the cover depicts a new bride in a revealing negligee, clutching a book called ‘Honeymoon Hints’, looking shocked because her husband has lured four Hawaiian beauties to the boudoir using only his Ronco Slide Guitar. Looking shocked and mildly put out is probably the best reaction he could have hoped for – I’m pretty sure if I’d lured four dusky maidens to the bedchamber on my honeymoon I wouldn’t be a father of three now…

All in all this is a bit of a wallpaper album. It’s so gentle it just washes over you so that you almost don’t notice, like a warm breeze in Waikiki. Not that I’ve been to Waikiki, but I have been to Llandudno.

Finally, there’s not much out there about ol’ Bob Blaine. In fact I could find nothing, which is strange considering how he’d worked with many ‘name bands’. I do wonder why, if they’re so famous, why didn’t they tell us exactly who Bob had been working with. However, in my trawl of the internet (or quick search for those of you who prefer accuracy), I found out that you almost certainly don’t want to go and Google “Bob Blaine” +singer, and look at the top result. That’s not our Bob Blaine, and that’s definitely not Hawaii, no sir. Seriously NSFW.

And this is how to do it right:-

And this is a bit of banjolele for you good people.

Tracks

Side 1

1. Hawaiian Honeymoon
2. Hawaiian Wedding Song
3. Song Of The Islands
4. South Sea Island Magic
5. Blue Shadows And White Gardenias
6. Beautiful Dreamer

Side 2

1. Aloha Oe
2. Hawaiian Memories
3. Moon Of Manakoora
4. Black Is The Colour Of My True Love’s Hair
5. Flower Of Tahiti

Final score:

5.5 out of 10

Label / Cat. No: Cambrian MCT 219
First Released: 1972

What The Album Blurb Says…

Maralene Powell made her first record as a solo artiste. Her second recording was in comapny with Gareth Edwards who for a brief moment exchanged the rugby field for the sound studio.

In this, her first album, Maralene presents a collection of songs which are as varied in subject as they are melodic in nature.

Family music at the fireside has been usurped in past decades by radio and television, but these technical wonders are now commonplace and making one’s own music is becoming a rediscovered pleasure. This is indeed a talented family for in this record Maralene is joined by her brother and sister, Aubrey and Denise and her brother in law – John. The quiet mid Wales valley of Pantydwr must often echo to their songs.

“Amazing Grace” cannot be too frequently recorded for each singer brings something new to the listener. The Gentlemen Songsters who join Maralene in this version with such effect are too well known to need introduction. “Morning has Broken” is an old melody which lingers in the mind long after the echoes have died away.

This is a collection of ballads and folk songs, some old and some new. “Love is Teasing” is from the distant past while “Deportee” underlines how cheaply human life is sometimes held in the modern world.

Together they are a collection without a theme – unless what ordinary people feel and experience is thematic. Maralene is already well known on record and in concert, but this is the first recording of the Four P’s and it must widen even further their circle of admirers.

What I Say

In light of the fact that the Taffs had a lucky victory on Saturday, I thought it only right we should look at one of their countryfolk for today’s outing. And so we have the lovely Maralene Powell, a farmer’s daughter from Pantydwr in Radnorshire. I’m not sure Radnorshire even exists any more, though there is a pub just a stone’s throw from here called the Radnorshire Arms. See, a little background colour for you there.

Although it’s ostensibly a Maralene album, the full title is Just For You – Maralene Powell and the Four P’s sing a selection of folk and country songs for your pleasure. And I thought Script For A Jester’s Tear was enough of a mouthful. These ‘Four P’s’ confuse me though. There’s a picture of them on the front, matching Salmon pink tops, flares armed and dangerous, and rolling Welsh landscape behind. And I think Maralene is one of the Four Ps. It certainly looks like her, and the sleeve notes refer to how Maralene is “joined by her brother and sister, Aubrey and Denise and her brother in law – John”. That makes three other people, Maralene being the fourth. So why is it Maralene AND the Four Ps. Surely it’s either ‘The Four Ps’ or ‘Maralene and the Three Ps’. Surely Maralene is being counted twice. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but this is exactly the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.

I’ve just noticed that on the back of the album it says it’s called ‘Maralene Powell with the Four “P’s” and the Gentlemen Songsters present a selection of Folk and Country songs for your pleasure.. Seems like everybody’s getting in on the credits. Good job they didn’t put that on the cover of the album, or there wouldn’t have been enough room for that lovely picture of Maralene looking foxy.

The songs are a bit of an odd mix. Understandably, given the nature of the Welsh, there are a few religious songs on here – ‘Tramp On The Street’ stood out for likening the treatment of Jesus to the death of an unloved Tramp. On The Street. A strange comparison to make, but at least I remembered it! Amazing Grace is handled well, and the Male Voice Choir, sorry, the ‘Gentlemen Songsters’ make sure you know this is a Welsh record. But the version of Morning Has Broken struck me as a little… off. The pianist and the guitarist seemed hesitant, and not quite sure when to come in to best compliment the vocals. It leads me to believe (though I may be completely wrong) that the song was recorded ‘live’ in the studio.

I do have a few concerns though with the choice of songs. We have an album created by someone with great potential and a good voice, but the songs just don’t seem to do Maralene justice.

Firstly, there is a tendency on this side of the Atlantic to believe that Country songs hold some meaning for us. They don’t. Really. It’s nice to listen to, and I’ve learned over the last few years to love Country music, but there is something so very wrong about a singer from North Wales telling me about her Louisiana home, and how the cotton crop has done this year. I’m not saying you have to stick to what you know and sing about daffodils and leeks, but there is only a certain degree of credulity I can muster, and it stops short of believing you’re a prairie flower.

What causes me more of a worry are the two songs that start side two – ‘Love Is Teasing’ and ‘I Will Never Marry’ – they both carry the same message, which is that men are feckless bastards who will get what they want from you, then cast you aside. You can’t trust them, so don’t waste your time on them. I shant comment further, only to suggest that maybe Maralene had one or two boyfriend issues at the time….? Mere speculation….

We also have a rendition of ‘Nobody’s Child’, a song last seen on Tony Best – By Request, and of such awful sludgy sentimentality that it makes me nauseous just to think about it. It’s a song about how the narrator goes to an orphanage and finds a blind boy who nobody wants (because he’s blind, obviously), and how said blind orphan believes he’d be better off dead because at least in Heaven he’d be able to see. This really is the most unpleasant song I think I’ve heard since No Charge. Yes, it’s really that bad.

The record is released on Cambrian Recordings, a label I hadn’t come across at all before, and one that has a strong Welsh pedigree, boasting Max Boyce and Mary Hopkin as signed artists.

Maralene’s voice is rather lovely. It has that pure, clean tone that was so favoured in folk circles in the 60s and 70s. That may however have been her downfall in that while the voice is technically good, it doesn’t ( to my ears at least) stand out above the other recording artists of the time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it – in fact, there’s a lot to commend it, but it lacks that distinctive edge that could elevate it into wider public recognition.

Equally, the album doesn’t have a focus – had it been an album of religious songs or an album of standards, it might have fared better, but it seems to lack identity as one or the other, and so ends up a bit of a hodge podge. That’s not to say I won’t be listening to it again. But you can be sure I’ll be skipping Nobody’s sodding Child.

Tracks

Side 1

(This is, by the way, the first album that I have ever seen that listed it’s tracks a, b, c.)

(a) Amazing Grace
(b) Morning Has Broken
(c) See That Little Boy
(d) Deportee
(e) There But For Fortune
(f) Tramp On The Street

Side 2

(a) Love Is Teasing
(b) I Never Will Marry
(c) Nine Hundred Miles
(d) Country Girl
(e) Cotton Fields
(f) Nobody’s Child

Final score:

6.75 out of 10